Phillip and I are in the car, heading to Kansas City. He’s signed a lease on a temporary office space, and we’re actually ordering the office furniture today. Once we’re done, we’re meeting Lori and Danny for dinner. Tomorrow, we have more meetings, and then we’re hanging out with them this weekend. Lori wants to help me shop for our new house, and I wanna find a couple of new bikinis for our honeymoon.
Phillip excitedly says, “I got an email yesterday. The custom Nikes just shipped!”
I’m about to reply when my phone buzzes. I look down and see a text from Danny.
Danny: I NEED YOU NOW! WHERE ARE YOU?
I’m about to type a smart-ass remark about him needing me, but then I notice how the words are all in capitals, and there are no winky faces. A feeling of dread washes over me. Something’s wrong.
Me: Danny, what’s wrong? Call me. We’re still about two hours away.
Danny: Can’t talk. Lori. Bleeding. Hospital. Miscarriage?
Danny: Pray.
Me: Do you want us to come? I’ll cancel our appointments.
Danny: Please. I’m freaking out. I’m afraid we’re gonna lose the baby.
Me: You won’t. Like, you can’t. We’ll be there as fast as we can. What happened?
Danny: Doctor is here. Gotta go.
I tell him we’ll be there as fast as we can, but I can’t say anything to Phillip.
Not yet.
I can barely breathe.
I’m in the middle of a flashback.
Phillip was talking on the phone with his dad.
We rushed to the hospital.
Phillip’s dad met us at the door.
He took my hands and told me my mom didn’t make it.
I rushed up to see my dad.
It’s been four years, but it feels like yesterday.
I close my eyes.
I saw my dad.
I heard him say, “Angel.”
I laid my head on his chest.
He stopped breathing.
Phillip says, “Princess, what’s wrong? Why do you look like you just saw a ghost?”
I close my eyes tight and take a deep breath. “Danny just sent me a text. They’re at the hospital. Lori’s bleeding. He thinks she might be having a miscarriage, and he wants us to pray. He also wanted to know how close we were. He wants us to go there, says he’s freaking out.”
Phillip tightly grabs my hand, looks worried, and drives faster. “We’d better hurry then.”
While Phillip drives, I say a very long prayer.
I pray that they’re okay. I plead with God not to take them away from me, too.
I’m surprised I still pray. I prayed hard for my dad, but it didn’t work. I hope it works today. I’ve texted Danny a couple of times, but he hasn’t replied, which can’t be good.
After what seems like an eternity but is really only a couple of hours later, we pull up to the hospital. We get out of the car, and Phillip grabs my hand, quickly pulling me toward the hospital entrance.
The closer we get, the more I sweat. I don’t know if I can do this.
I hate hospitals. I really do. Only bad things happen in hospitals. I haven’t been in a hospital since that night, except for when I had strep throat really bad.
I’ve never visited anyone in the hospital because people die in hospitals.
But then I think about Danny’s message, how desperate he sounded, and I know I have to go. He needs us.
Just like I needed Phillip that night.
We get their room number from the information desk and ride up the elevator.
As we walk down the fourth-floor corridor, I’m bracing myself for the worst. For Danny to tell me that Lori and the baby are dead.
I get super hot.
And then I feel light-headed, like maybe I’m going to pass out.
I stop, lean up against the wall, close my eyes, and take a deep breath.
Phillip realizes I’m not walking next to him anymore and turns around to look for me.
He walks back toward me. “What are you doing? We need to hurry.”
“I have to get out of here, Phillip. I can’t do this. I think I’m gonna throw up and then maybe pass out.”
He wraps me in a one-armed hug and pulls me close, exactly the way he did when he walked off the elevator that night.
My mind flashes back again.
How he was mad at me.
How we’d fought.
How I was so afraid he’d hate me forever.
How I couldn’t believe my mom was dead.
How Dad stopped breathing.
How the alarms went off.
How they rushed me out of the room and didn’t tell me anything.
My own breathing is ragged. I need to get out of here.
Now.
Phillip touches my face and says, “Princess, it’s gonna be okay. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that, Phillip. You don’t know.” I start to cry.
I cannot do this.
“Danny said he needed you. If it’s bad, he’s going to need you even more.”
He’s right. If it’s bad, he’s going to need me, and I love Danny. I won’t let him go through whatever this is alone even if I feel like I’m gonna be sick.
Phillip holds my hand and leads me down the hall in the same way he led me through most of my parents’ funeral.
Tears are rolling down my face.
I’ve been able to hold my tears back since my parents died, but I can’t seem to push them back right now.
We get to room 416. Lori’s room.
I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. Should we just stand out here?
Phillip knocks gently on the door.
Danny opens it. There’s a wide grin on his face, and he immediately pulls Phillip into a hug.
“Look at this, Mac!” he says as he excitedly shoves an ultrasound photo in front of Phillip’s face.
When I see Lori alive and lying in the hospital bed, I let out a cry of relief. She looks scared, but there’s a smile on her face.
I rush to her side. “Are you okay? Is the baby okay? What happened?”
“I’m fine. The baby’s fine. I was bleeding this morning, and it was enough that the doctor sent us straight here. I was sure I was having a miscarriage. I think I panicked everyone for nothing. Everything is okay now, and the bleeding has stopped.”
I let out a huge, cleansing breath of air, bend down, and tightly hug her. “I was so worried.”
She says, “Stop crying. You’re making me cry.” She wipes her tears and then shakes her head at me. “I really didn’t think you’d come. Here. To the hospital. I thought you’d make up some excuse.”
“I don’t have the best of luck with hospitals, Lori, so I try to avoid them.”
“Babies are born in hospitals. They’re good things.”
“That’s true, I guess. I was really worried.” I give her another big hug. “I love you.”
Danny interrupts my hug by shoving the ultrasound photo in front of my face.
I see a very teeny baby. I’m amazed at how small it is but how much it looks like a baby. Like, I guess I thought it would still sorta look like a squid or something. I look closer because I’m dying to know if it’s a boy or a girl.
“Danny, they covered up its boy or girl parts!”
“I know! We don’t wanna find out. The little monkey is gonna be loved either way, and we’re gonna have lots more kids.”
“Lots more kids?” Lori says. “Um, let’s see if I can do one right. Then, we can talk about more.”
Danny snatches the pic away from me and shoves it back in Phillip’s face. “So, look at this, Mac. What’s it look like the baby’s doing?”
Phillip closely studies the photo. “Sleeping?”
“No, look at this. Look at its arm. Doesn’t it look like he’s throwing a pass?”
Phillip grins. “Yeah, sorta. Must be a boy then, huh?”
“Hey, girls can throw passes!” I say.
“Whatever,” Danny says. “My guess is that it’s a boy.”
“That’s my guess, too,” Lori says.
I look at the ultrasound closer. It looks to me like the baby is either sleeping with its arm up in the air or throwing its arm up in a cheer, but I decide not to mention that. “So, everything’s okay then? Like, why were you bleeding? I thought all bleeding was bad.”
“Not always,” Lori says. Then, she glances at Danny, who has a very satisfied look on his face.
“What?” I say.
Lori rolls her eyes and hands me a book on things to expect when you’re pregnant. I read the passage that she highlighted.
During pregnancy, it’s not unusual to bleed after sex. Your cervix is tender and sensitive. If this happens to you, you shouldn’t have intercourse again until you’ve seen your doctor. Having normal intercourse won’t cause you to have a miscarriage.
I read it once and then read it again. “I don’t get it. What’s that got to do with—ohhh, so you had sex, and it caused the bleeding?”
Lori laughs self-consciously and nods her head.
Danny puffs his chest out and flexes a big bicep at us. “What it doesn’t mention in that book is that I’m huge. Like, extremely well-endowed.”
I laugh and look back down at the book. “You’re right. It doesn’t mention that. Oh, wait. It does. It’s scribbled here in the margin. A little disclaimer. Danny Diamond is so huge that this does not apply. Danny Diamond should proceed with caution.”
Phillip raises his eyebrows at me. “So, what does it say about me?”
“Huh?”
“Well, I am bigger than Danny.”
“What? How would you even know that, Phillip?”
He grins at me. “Well, aside from years of locker rooms, we measured.”
“You measured? As in you got naked together, got them hard, and compared? How did I miss out on all the good stuff?”
Danny chimes in, “Jay, we’re not gay. We measured separately and told each other our numbers, but I think Phillip’s fibbing.”
“Phillip never lies.”
“Whatever. So, the bleeding happened because I’m amazing, and pregnant women are super horny.”
Phillip and I look at each other with wide eyes.
Danny shrugs his broad shoulders and grins. “It’s not my fault she kept saying, ‘Harder.’”
Lori blushes down to her toes. “Danny!”
Danny just laughs. He’s quite proud of himself. “We’re among friends here.”
Lori says, “Well, you and your friend can go get me some fried chicken. I’m starving. I want extra crispy with mashed potatoes and biscuits. And make sure you get those honey packets.”
“I swear, I’m gonna start a pregnancy delivery service. You know how many times I’ve had to run out and get whatever she’s hungry for?”
The boys leave to go get chicken. I’m still sitting here with an amused smile on my face.
“Wipe that smirk off your face,” she tells me.
“So, pregnancy makes you horny?”
She looks at the door and makes sure the boys are gone. “Ohmigawd, Jade, yes. Here, read this.”
I read a passage about increased blood flow to certain lady parts and think that’s something I really did not need to know.
Pregnancy would freak me the heck out. I’m just saying.
When I set the book back down, she continues, “Seriously, sex with Danny has always been amazing. But, yeah, this morning was like ecstasy.” Then, she changes the subject. “So, Danny told me something about you seeing Richie Rich at the bar. Did he really ask you to marry him?”
“Lori, you need to be thinking about you and the baby and taking it easy, relaxing.”
“All I’ve been doing is thinking about the baby. I wanna talk about your life. Tell me a story. Some gossip. Something. Distract me.”
I lie on the bed next to her. “He did. I don’t think he was serious though. Did Danny tell you, the night of formal, he was going to ask me to wear his fraternity pin?”
“Oh, Jade. You would’ve gotten to pass your candle!”
“I know. I’m kinda bummed by that. He also said something that’s been bugging me. Do you think I’m settling by marrying Phillip?”
“Are you nuts? Phillip is fine. He’s hot, he’s sweet, and he adores you. Why would you ever say that?”
“Jason said it. I just … I don’t know. Couples counseling is not going well, Lori. I’m pretty sure we’re failing.”
“You’re not failing. No one fails.”
I grab her hand and try to change the subject by saying, “I hope not. I’m so happy the baby is okay.”
“Me, too. So, I know you. You have to have some gossip or some funny story. You always do.”
“I have some kind of baddish news.”
“Do I want to hear baddish news right now?”
“It’s more baddish gossip. You know how Katie and Eric haven’t, like, been doing that great, like, in their marriage, right?”
“Yeah, I did hear that.”
“Well, did you hear that she’s been talking to and going to lunch with Neil?”
“I didn’t hear that! What’s that all about?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think they know for sure, but it sounds like she’s considering getting a divorce and dating Neil.”
“Scandalous.” She giggles. “Seriously though, it’s really sad. It would suck to go through a divorce.”
“You’re lucky. You and Danny have a good relationship.”
“He cried today, about the baby. I’ve never seen Danny cry. And I’ve been giving him a hard time. I just feel so—I can’t even explain it—like I’m not even in control of my own body. Like I have this alien thing growing in me, changing my body, and kicking me. It’s kinda freaky, but at the same time, it’s so incredible. I’ve been sick and crabby and probably not very nice to him.”
“He’s worried about being a good dad, but he really loves you, and he really loves the baby.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m incredibly lucky. We’ve decided that we really can’t understand what each other is going through and to just focus on the baby.”
“Good. You know Danny’s going to be an amazing father.”
“That’s one of the reasons I wanted to marry him so bad. He’s so much fun, so full of life and love. And speaking of that, when are you two gonna have kids?”
“Not for a very long time.”
“You’re going to be amazing parents, too. And Danny’s right; having our kids grow up together would be so cool. You know, you’re more like my sister than my real sister.”
“Really? You have no idea what that means to me. You know, because it’s just me.” Tears start leaking out of my eyes again. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I push the tears back anymore?
Lori grabs my hand and puts my palm across her belly. “Feel that?”
“Oh my God! The baby kicks hard! Lori, that’s so freaking weird! Does it feel like that all the time?”
“It is kicking a lot now. I was telling Nick about it, and he keeps teasing Danny. Telling him the baby is gonna be a kicker and not a quarterback. That’s why Danny’s all, ‘Look, the baby looks like it’s throwing a pass.’ Wouldn’t it have been hilarious if the baby had looked like it was kicking?”
“Nick’s a loser. He was so funny in Vegas. He was giving me crap about being kinda drunk, but he was dancing with me.”
“He only dances when he’s drunk!”
Then, I tell her about the spider, Wayne’s reaction and rescue, and Phillip strolling in for sex. And I maybe confide a little about how freaking amazing sex with Phillip is.
“I remember the first time you introduced me to Phillip. I think it’s funny that we didn’t get to be good friends until junior year.”
“Well, that’s ’cause you never seemed like you wanted to have any fun.”
“And it seemed like all you wanted to do was have fun. Do you remember when I asked you to introduce me to Phillip? We all thought he was so cute, but I’d never met him before.”
“I don’t remember that.”
“We were dressed as slutty secretaries, and the guys were all in suits. Phillip looked good.”
“Phillip always looks handsome in a suit.”
“You were like, ‘Come on, I’ll introduce you. He’s my best friend and my roommate.’ I’ll never forget it. He and Blake were literally surrounded by girls. You sauntered over and walked through the girls. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed you on the cheek. The girls all gave you the dirtiest looks.” She laughs. “Then, you told him his tie was all messed up.”
“Oh, I do remember that. Phillip could never tie a tie. I always did it for him. And they were probably surrounding Blake. You know that’s how he got his nickname, right? His Royal Hotness? Blakeness?”
She laughs. “I didn’t know that. That’s funny. Blake is a cutie. So, anyway, you undid Phillip’s tie and retied it. Then, you stood back and looked at him. I swear, I knew then that you loved him.”
“You were always too smart for your own good.”
“You introduced us and then totally checked him out. Like, stood back and looked him up and down. You told him he looked too uptight, stole his tie, and put it on. He grabbed the end of the tie and pulled you in close to him. I really thought he was going to kiss you. Instead, he whispered in your ear. I’ve always wondered what he said.”
I laugh. “He told me I could tie him up later at home and that my skirt was so short that it was almost a crime.”
“He always flirt with you like that?”
“I always kinda thought he was just playing around, but yeah, he did.”
“Then, we got drunk together.”
“I didn’t get drunk. You did though. I think I created a monster.”
“You did teach me how to party.”
“I think you always knew how to party. You were just afraid to let loose.”
“That’s true. We had a lot of fun. You wanna know what surprised me the most about you?”
“Sure.”
“You kinda had a reputation as a party girl. And you knew so many guys. I thought you were slutty. I was surprised, once I got to know you, how good you were. Like, you made out with a lot of guys, so I just assumed you did more.”
“I’m not a good girl, Lori.”
“Jade, you didn’t have sex until college.”
I roll my eyes at her. “I knew lots of guys ’cause of Phillip and Danny, and I just wanted to wait until I was in love. That didn’t really work out so well.”
“Like I said, closet good girl. Well, until Bradley.”
“Yes, Bradley the bartender. He was supposed to be my first one-night stand. But then it was so much fun, and it turned into a bunch of one-night stands.”
“What about Danny?”
“What do you mean?”
“In Vegas, they were talking about you and Danny making out. It sounded like it was often. Was it? I always thought prom night was the last time you kissed.”
“No, we kissed in college some. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“You never told me that.”
“Because it didn’t matter. Danny and I were friends. Sometimes, we’d get drunk together and kiss. Usually after a loss. I think it was, like, comforting to him or something.”
“So, was it just kissing?”
“Pretty much.”
“Just tell me, please.”
“Why? It doesn’t matter anymore. If I wanted Danny for myself, I would’ve never set the two of you up. When we kissed, he had yet to find love, and I’d found it, but I didn’t know what to do with it. It didn’t mean anything. It was just for fun. Like most things are with me and Danny. We’ve just always had fun together.”
“Danny says you always got into trouble together. I think you did more than kiss.”
“Fine. We did more than kiss. There was even a time when he attacked me on the couch. It was, like, spur of the moment. I thought we were finally going to.”
“What stopped you?”
“Phillip came home. It was pretty funny. Danny and I looked at each other, jumped up, and ran into our rooms. We never kissed after that.”
“When was that?”
“Fall of my junior year. And I’m glad we didn’t. Danny means a lot to me. I think sleeping with him would’ve been like crossing Sleep with Danny Diamond off my bucket list. Like, every girl I knew wanted to sleep with him. My competitiveness sort of made me want to, too.”
“I didn’t want to sleep with him.”
“You were lying to yourself.”
She giggles.
“Speaking of that,” I say, “I think I might be lying to myself about Phillip.”
She looks concerned. “Why would you say that?”
“I told you, we’re failing couples counseling.”
“I thought you didn’t care about couples counseling.”
“On the surface, I’m not taking it seriously. But I’m there. I’m listening, and I’m trying hard not to because I’m hearing stuff I don’t wanna hear. What I’m hearing is that our marriage is going to be a failure.”
“Oh, Jade, don’t be silly.”
I was gonna argue with her, but I remember something else I’ve been wanting to tell her. “Oh, I almost forgot! I had another weird dream the other night.”
“Tell me about it.” Her face brightens.
She loves reveling in my misery, I think.
“I’m still worried that, with all these dreams, someone is trying to tell me something, or maybe I’m trying to tell myself something. I’m not sure.”
“Stop being so dramatic, Jade, and tell me about it.”
“I’m not dramatic! That’s, like, twice in the last few days someone has accused me of it. And I don’t like it!”
“Fine. You’re not being dramatic. Tell me!”
“Okay, so it’s my wedding ceremony. It’s gorgeous. There are candles lit on top of every pew, on every surface. I walk down the aisle in a beautiful Balenciaga gown. I have a gorgeous, long, flowing veil.”
Lori interrupts me, “How do you know who Balenciaga is? Do they make wedding dresses?”
“I’m not sure. Sex and the City maybe?”
“I know. I was telling you about that Balenciaga motorcycle bag that Mark Conway’s wife got, like the only one in Kansas City and how it cost, like, two thousand dollars.”
She likes to think our conversations are so significant that they’re affecting my dreams.
“What’s that got to do with the dress?”
“Nothing really. Go on.”
“So, I go up to the altar. Phillip and I say our vows, and when the minister says, ‘You may kiss the bride,’ Phillip lifts the veil off my face. That’s when I FREAK! I can’t do it! I can’t go through with it! So, I run down the aisle with my veil flying behind me. Of course, with all the candles, it catches fire, but I don’t know that it’s blazing behind me until people start screaming in horror.”
“Oh, how awful,” she says, but then she laughs.
“You’re laughing at my dream?”
“Just a little. Go on. You are entertaining, I will admit.”
“So, it’s awful. I’m on fire—well, my veil is anyway. But, luckily, when I get toward the back of the church, I see the back rows are filled with firemen.”
“Firemen? What are firemen doing at your wedding?”
“I’m not sure. Did I tell you about Mrs. Mac’s Facebook status about the hot fireman working on the fire hydrant on their street? And how she, Mrs. D, and two other neighbors were pretending to sit outside and talk, just so they could drool over him?”
“No, you didn’t! They both friend requested me, but I ignored them.”
“You did? Ohmigawd, you should totally add them. They’re hilarious, and they share waaay too much information. I laugh every day. It’s cheap entertainment.
“So, anyway, I left work and went out to join them, and it turns out, the hot fireman was Ryan, this guy I dated freshman year. He was a senior and the first boy I ever French-kissed. Well, technically, I guess that was Danny, but that was more of a tutorial thing.”
“Danny taught you how to French kiss? Why have I never heard about this before?”
“It was dumb. I was super nervous about kissing Ryan because this other guy, like, shoved his tongue down my throat once, and it was awful. I didn’t wanna be awful, so I begged Danny to tell me how to do it right. It’s just one of those things you kinda have to do, so he took pity on me and showed me.
“Anyway, so I go over there and get out of my car, and he calls out my name. I told him about the ladies watching and asked him to pretend to get hot and take off his shirt. So, he did even though it was, like, fifty degrees out.”
“Oh, that’s hilarious.”
“What’s even better is, when he was shirtless, they took pictures with him. They posted the pics on their Facebook!”
“No way! Show me your phone.”
I pull up the photos and show her. She laughs a hard, full-belly laugh. It’s good to see her happy. I was so worried earlier.
“So, back to my dream. I either invited the firemen to the wedding or I had to invite them because of all the candles. Like, maybe some fire code. Kinda like when they supervise fireworks shows.”
“Oh, that sounds reasonable. Okay, so then what?”
“This totally hot, buff fireman runs up to me.”
“Is he in his fireman’s outfit?”
“They all are, but they aren’t wearing shirts. Just, like, their jackets, pants, and those hard red hats with the yellow tape on them. And their jackets are open, so you can see their sexy abs.”
“Nice. So, was it that Ryan guy?”
“Let me finish. So, this sexy-ass fireman runs up to me, tackles me, and rolls me.”
“Rolls you? Why doesn’t he just take the veil off?”
“Stop, drop, and roll. Don’t you know anything? And stop interrupting. This is serious.”
“Okay, sorry.”
“So, he puts out my veil fire. And, after rolling me, he ends up lying on top of me. He grins this gorgeous smile at me and starts kissing me. At my wedding! And this fireman is so freaking hot! I want him, like, right there. And, for a minute, I think we’re gonna have sex right there, in the aisle at my wedding, with everyone watching! But, all of a sudden, he pulls me up off the ground, and we run, hand in hand, outside the church. We grab the bars on the back of the fire truck as it pulls away.”
“So, you left your wedding with a fireman? I see two problems with this. One, you’d already said your vows, so you were legally married to Phillip, and—”
“Let me finish.”
“Okay, but—”
“The fireman was Phillip.”
“What? So you left Phillip the groom at the altar to run away with Phillip the fireman?”
“Yep.”
“But that makes no sense.”
“No shit.”
“Okay, let’s analyze this. Do you have some secret fantasy about firemen? Maybe you should have Phillip dress up as one and come and save you.”
I roll my eyes.
She snaps her fingers. “It could mean you want more adventure with Phillip.”
“Maybe.”
“You know what it really means? I think your mind is telling you what you already know. That, no matter where you go, Phillip is the guy of your dreams and is perfect for you. It just means that you’re destined to be together.”
“I think it means that I can run away, but he’ll always find me. It means, I’m trapped. I’m stuck with him.”
“I wish I had dreams like yours. They’re always so good. I never remember mine.”
“I thought pregnant women had lots of crazy dreams?”
“Not me. Not so far anyway. But I swear, I could put a bomb-sniffing dog out of work. I can smell everything! Speaking of which, I’m pretty sure I smell Phillip and Danny coming back with the fried chicken.”
And she is right.
About thirty seconds later, I smell fried chicken coming down the hall.
Phillip and Danny burst in the hospital room.
Danny says, “Mark Conway is announcing his retirement today. He’s supposed to be holding a press conference in, like, fifteen minutes. I just got a text about it.”
We turn on the TV, eat chicken, and watch him announce his retirement. Although we’re very excited about what this means for Danny’s future, it still makes us all a little sad because we know, someday, Danny will announce his retirement.
“Not for a long-ass time though,” Danny says. He actually looks a little teary-eyed.
Lori says, “I’ve never seen you cry, and now, you’re getting misty-eyed twice in one day.”
“I’m excited about what this means for me, but I know, someday, that’ll be me up there.”
Lori grabs his hand and says, “Not for a long time, baby. Not for a long time.”
I really hope and pray she’s right about that.
One time in middle school, when Danny was a lot smaller, he got a concussion. Ever since then, I say a prayer before every game. And, so far, Danny’s been blessed. He’s never really gotten hurt. He broke his non-throwing arm once in high school and slightly sprained his ankle in college. Well, he did sprain his ankle, and it did slow him down, but it didn’t stop him. And, of course, there were lots of games where his body was pretty bruised up and sore but never anything to keep him from playing. I pray it continues that way.
Phillip and I left the hospital to let Lori rest. They’re letting her go home soon. We did a little shopping and had dinner at our hotel. We’re staying with them this weekend, but we have an early appointment here, at the hotel, tomorrow morning and decided a hotel would be easier. Phillip and I had a bottle of wine at dinner, and I tried to get him drunk enough to tell me where we were going on our honeymoon. I tried to reason with him about how I needed to know what to pack. I tried to pout. Nothing worked. Then, I tried sex.
I’m lying on his shoulder, thinking about how amazing he is. There’s something about the time right after sex. I feel so close to him and so in love. I think that’s how it’s supposed to feel. All those nights I was with other guys, I would lie there, thinking it was great but just wanting to get home. Well, or do it again—you know, so I wouldn’t have to talk to him.
Why is it that Phillip and I never brought people home with us?
Danny? Oh my gosh, I once threatened to replace his bedroom door with a revolving one.
“Phillip, how come you never let a girl spend the night at our house?”
“I don’t know. Probably the same reason you never had a guy spend the night.”
“That’s weird, don’t ya think?”
“I don’t know if it was a conscious thought, but it was, like, our place. I think I would’ve felt like I was cheating on you. We were pathetic, huh?”
“Yeah, I think that’s kinda why I didn’t either. Sorta out of some weird respect. I also think you would’ve been terribly jealous,” I tease.
“I would’ve been,” he says very seriously. “I never liked any of your dates or your boyfriends. I never really understood why. I told myself that I was just protecting you, but, really, I was jealous. I was jealous of every boy who had ever kissed you. I wanted to kill every boy who’d ever hurt you. I wanted you. All to myself.”
“Hmm, do you want me now?”
“Again?” He chuckles. “Well, let’s see.” He puts my hand down south. “What do you think?”
I grin because, well, you know. “I would say, someone wants me.”
“Yeah, me,” he says as he pulls me on top of him.
