I listen to each and every word she utters about her past. The same past that she has been carrying as a burden on her shoulders since her sister died.
A death she blames herself for even to this day.
“Later one of the guards heard the sound of a gunshot and came to see what happened. He informed Tristen about it and rushed back home. But I just stood there looking at Helena’s dead body.”
Fuck.
“I was even prepared to go to prison because I knew I committed a crime and deserved it. But Tristen made it look like Helena killed herself from the grief of her miscarriage.”
Agatha is now sitting on my lap with her arms tangled around my neck and her head resting against my shoulder. My arms are engulfed around her, letting her feel the warmth of comfort while she confesses to me. At one point when she started to break down in tears from her story, I didn’t hesitate to pull her in my arms, knowing well she needed it.
I feel her tears streaming down as they drop on my chest, but the only thing bothering me is seeing the utter sadness in her heart that she has been trying to treat on her own for so long.
From what she has told me, it’s clear all of it was an accident. She only meant to save Helena but fate had other plans and took her sister away from her.
“I will never be able to forgive myself for what happened to Helena. All I wish is at least when I’m on the gateway of afterlife, God gives me the chance to apologize to her and to tell her that I love her with all my heart. It was me who failed her.”
“I think that’s where you are wrong,” I whisper.
She frowns looking up at me. “I don’t want you to pity me for what happened.”
I shake my head, playing with the ends of her hair. “It’s your guilt that was your downfall. What happened to you is something no girl ever wishes on her enemies even. Tristen used that as his weapon to play with your young mind and made you believe that nobody will trust your words.”
She remains quiet, listening to me intently.
“He controlled you and your sister. He was the one to blame for the chaos he started in your family…in your life. Everything you thought was for your sister.”
I caress her cheek with the back of my hand, wiping away her tears. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes filled with distress that I wanted to release her from.
“You tried to save her but sometimes some things aren’t in our control.”
“How can you think of me like that after knowing the truth? Don’t you see the stupid, careless whore that people looked at when they started to think I might have had an affair with my brother-in-law?”
Rage courses through my nerves just thinking of the people who dared to see her in that light. I bet, Tristen spread that rumor just to escape from Helena’s death and look like a victim.
“All I see is a girl who was caught up in the shadow of darkness that people like Tristen put the innocent ones in just for their advantage. But you are the bravest girl I’ve met who didn’t lose hope to escape from here. And I can also tell once you heal fully, you will plan to escape again.”
Her body tightens confirming my assumption. But I don’t blame her for it. Not anymore.
“And I know you will succeed. Because your bravery and stubbornness is your true beauty. You are like a queen who was used to sacrificing only, but now she is able to fight her own battles by hook or by crook. Only time will tell if you will gain your freedom.”
“I will escape and nothing will stop me from it,” she mutters and rests her head back on my shoulder.
Now I understand why she wanted to be free from this prison so badly…why she is hopeful of escaping from here.
She wants to be away from this dark world and be in a place where her guilt and past won’t taint her anymore. And the mere thought that just her freedom means so much to her that she is willing to risk her life, makes me wish I never kidnapped her here in the first place.
It makes me wish to go back in time and never accept the offer Tristen made with me and Geryon.
She found shelter in my arms but once she knows the harsh truth, she won’t waste time being away from me. She won’t even look at me the way she is doing now, and it hurts me even more, reminding me that I will indeed always be the monster.
The devil.
The villain of her story.
Her gaze holds a gentle and softening emotion, making her look even more beautiful. I look at the window to see it’s starting to turn dark.
I move us towards the headboard with my back resting against it as I lean to get the lighter from the drawer to light up the candelabra.
We settle in the quietness, hearing the pitter-patter of the rain from outside as we relish in each other’s warmth.
“Why are you always there for me even though I can see it in your eyes you want to suppress that urge?” she asks with a hushed tone, lightly touching my chest.
I lick my lips, letting out a sigh. “I wish I knew.”
“If you have the will to save me from the dangers here, then why can’t you help me escape from here?”
“It is complicated.”
“What secret does this place hold against you that you are so devoted to it?”
Her question hits me to my core as I remember why I’m tied to this place…why my life is controlled by the Magdalene.
But I don’t answer her. I don’t confess my truth to her knowing she will see a part of me that I won’t allow anybody else to see. I have been vulnerable once but not again.
Never again.
I gently lifted her off from my lap and put on my clothes.
“I will get you something to eat.” Before she could ask anything else, I leave the room.
AGATHA
The next few days pass in the blink of an eye. My wounds finally healed along with my soul that Geryon tried to break. Every angel has her fall, but just because they fall doesn’t mean their wings won’t raise them up with power.
Eryx has warned me beforehand that once I healed things will have to return back to normal for me.
I don’t protest, knowing well I need to leave his room and keep finding ways for my escape.
I change into my new dress for the morning prayers. Eryx left early in the morning before I woke up but he left me some buttered bread and omelet to eat.
After getting ready, I head to the prayers and sit beside Beth. Eryx and Geryon soon enter with a Bible in their hands before they start to recite the verses.
I pretend to be a part of it, but I look around and see the usual scenario where all the women are like lifeless puppets dancing in Geryon’s tune.
But the question was…why?
Why are all these women like this but Beth is different?
What control does Geryon hold on everyone here?
I try to avoid Eryx’s intense gaze upon me that I always feel to the core of my soul, setting my skin ablaze with an unknown, dark need. After he revealed his…thoughts about me for what I have suffered, I had this little hope that maybe I can change his mind to help me be free from this place.
It may be an unknown chance where I don’t know the outcome, but it is still a risk I’m willing to take.
Instead of dismissing us as usual after prayers, Geryon calls out a few names. Six women stand up, looking ahead without portraying an ounce of emotion.
“The six of you will meet me after dinner for your departure. It is time for you to leave,” Geryon mutters in a sharp tone and leaves the room along with Eryx.
I frown in confusion. Departure?
Those six women will be leaving the Magdalene today and will be free from this living hell. I notice the ones he chose are usually the ones who scream or yell every now and then, having a sudden breakdown. But today they are quiet and still like others.
But why did Geryon pick them?
And why only six?
Later, while cleaning the shelves in the library, I find Beth and gesture at her to meet me at the corner. She nervously looks around and takes a chance to join me.
“Do you know anything about this departure?” I ask her with a hushed voice. My eyes every now and then peeking glances through the gaps of the shelves to be aware of someone’s arrival.
“Usually at the end of every month, Geryon picks six girls and they leave with him after dinner. Today seems to be that day.”
“Do they leave by ship?”
She shrugs. “Nobody has seen it. But once they leave this building, they are never seen again.”
“We can follow them tonight,” I suggest. “We can see how they leave and if it’s possible then we can follow them and get on board with them.”
“But Geryon will be with them. He will easily find us.”
I nod. “I know but at least we will know of a way and plan stronger for it the next time.”
She swallows, a hint of uncertainty glimmering in her eyes, before she nods in response. “Alright. But what about sister Agnes? She sometimes makes rounds at night.”
She is indeed an issue that is hard to tackle. “I will think of something. But be ready after dinner. I will knock three times on your door for a signal. Now go.”
She turns and quickly returns to her previous spot.
My mind starts to race with every possible solution to get rid of Agnes from our path to freedom. But thankfully a plan comes up in my head.
After lunch time, I quickly go to Eryx’s room and start to rummage through the drawer chest where he keeps small, thin sized capsule glass bottles, with medicines stored in it.
I’m searching for the sleeping pills and luckily found them. Looking at it, I know I have one shot at this and that I have to be careful. I put the bottle inside my dress pocket and quickly close the door, when the entrance door opens too.
Eryx enters and his eyes instantly fall on me with a questioning look. Suspicion is shadowing upon his face as he stalks towards me.
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Nothing,” I whisper, feeling my nerves tightening with tension.
He stands so close to me that I can feel the heat of his body even from a few inches away. His eyes darken as they assess me up and down like he is searching for something to confirm his suspicion.
“I should get going,” I mutter and walk past him, trying to escape the scenario.
But he grabs my wrist, halting my steps and speeding up my heart.
“If you are thinking of escaping today with the women, then don’t even attempt it,” he mutters over his shoulder. My pulse races with a sudden nervousness.
“Don’t do something reckless. You have tried it once and you’ve seen the consequences.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I murmur.
He lets out a dark chuckle under his breath as a gesture he isn’t buying my excuses. “The minute Geryon mentioned about the six women being free, one glance at you gave me the answer that you were starting to plot your escape already.”
He pulls me back, making us stand side by side. Him facing the side of my face while I kept my gaze forward.
“You will be disappointed at the end. So, do not even think of doing anything tonight. I may have saved you once but I won’t be able to every time.”
I smile humorlessly, meeting his gaze. “Because you are a prisoner like me.”
“We are all prisoners in this world. Even if you escape this place, there will be another jail waiting for you to ruin your life and trap your freedom.”
He leans closer with his warm breath caressing against my lips. My skin is heating up with the familiar sensation I always sense from his closeness.
“I’m warning you for your own good. I don’t want you to suffer again, you’ve already been through a lot.”
“If you cared so much about me, then you would at least have the courage to help me be free,” I retort. “I have fallen many times. But no matter what happens, I will always come out stronger than you’ll ever imagine.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he murmurs before loosening his grip on my wrist. I frown in confusion and take the chance to leave his room.
Though I can’t stop thinking if Eryx will go behind my back and alert Geryon about what I might do, or if he is actually not going to stop me.
It’s nearly night time and everyone is busy with their chores. I keep an eye on Agnes who is standing at the corner of the prayer room, while we clean the benches and mop the floors.
It’s turning dark and from afar we can hear the rumbling of thunder.
Few moments later, we are done for the day and everyone starts to line up to leave the room, returning back to their rooms. But instead of following them, I sneak into the kitchen and quickly look for the jar where the tea leaves are kept.
I have often seen Agnes drinking tea. During keeping an eye on us or sometimes after we were dismissed at night, and it seems like she is the only one. I find it, trying to steady my trembling hands. I pull out the small sleeping pills, crushing four of them into powder and sprinkling it into the jar. I give it a quick shake, placing it back on the shelf.
Fortunately, nobody notices my short absence and I quickly join the line. Keeping my head down like others we go upstairs to our rooms.
I wait for an hour, which nearly feels like forever, before I open the door and tip-toed downstairs to the kitchen.
I slowly open the door and find Agnes, with her head resting on the table. I stalk towards her, trying to make the minimum sound. Her eyes are closed and her body is relaxed, gesturing she has fallen asleep from the pills. The tea cup is sitting empty on the table, with few remains of the tea leaves.
I let out a breath of relief and left the kitchen. I quickly make my way to Beth’s room, knocking three times.
She opens the door with a hint of uneasiness in her eyes. “Are you ready?” I ask.
“What about sister Agnes?”
I hold her hand, guiding her to the corner of the stairway. “She is taken care of. Just be quiet and when Geryon comes out we will follow him.”
She nods. We kneel beside the stairway handles, waiting for Geryon to be seen or heard. A few moments pass by when we hear heavy footsteps. I feel Beth’s body turning tense beside me as she grabs my hand tightly for support.
I look at the gaps of the railing, finding Geryon coming to the prayer hall with the six women right behind him.
“Follow me,” he orders. They head to the front door and that is when we get up and slowly descend downstairs.
Perspiration coats my forehead and neck, dripping down my back as well. My heart starts to race with a high speed that I can hear it drumming in my ears.
Both of us keep a general distance from Geryon and the women as we start to follow them. The women are dressed in their usual nightgowns with a suitcase on each of their hands.
They walk through the gate of the Magdalene, crossing the territory but instead of heading forward, Geryon turns to the right side of the building and walks along the dark path of the forest side that leads to the backyard.
I frown in confusion being left clueless of what Geryon was doing.
Why didn’t he go to the shore side?
