I can’t tell her the truth. She doesn’t want to get hurt and I don’t want to hurt her. If she knows my truth—the real feelings I’ve been feeling—it will only make things worse between us and more complicated. Neither of us want to do complicated. Hell, neither of us want to do more than what we’ve been doing.
So, why the hell do our hearts have to go and betray us and get involved?
Eden is already under my skin, burrowing herself into my soul. She just doesn’t know it and I don’t intend on ever revealing that truth. As long as I can have her to myself, that’s enough for me. I don’t do relationships and she’s the last person that I want to let down.
And I have a hard time believing that I will live up to her expectations.
She already has a thing against hockey players, after what her ex did to her. I would never do the same to her, but I can’t expect her to follow me wherever I go after graduation. That’s not fair to her and I’m not going to be the one who ruins either of our dreams.
Instead, I’m putting my feelings aside and trying to just enjoy this period of time with her, however long it might last. I just need Eden on the same page, or else it won’t work. She keeps reiterating that she doesn’t like me and it’s becoming quite amusing.
I can’t tell who she’s trying to convince of that anymore, because her actions tell me a hell of a lot more than her words do. And it’s quite a contradiction.
“I don’t want the truth from you,” she whispers as she tilts her head back to look up at me. Sliding my hand around the back of her neck, I stare down into her eyes. “I just want this. The simplicity and the ease of it all. Nothing more.”
“Whatever you want, baby,” I murmur, dropping my face down to hers. “You can pretend to hate me all you want, but when you’re with me, you’re mine.”
She tilts her head to the side, her lips brushing against mine. “And what if I’m with someone else?”
I can’t fight the growl that rumbles in my chest as I tighten my hand on the back of her neck. “We may not be anything more than this, but there’s no one else. You got that?”
There’s a crack in the ice that keeps Eden safe. “I expect the same from you then.”
A chuckle slips from my lips. “Oh, baby, baby, baby,” I breathe, nipping at her bottom lip. “Since I followed you to your tent that night, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.”
Eden wraps her arms around the back of my neck, lifting herself up onto her tiptoes as our mouths collide. She doesn’t want to hear the truth from me, so instead I’ll give her half-truths. Even though I may have slept with a few girls since that first night with Eden, that doesn’t mean there has really been anyone but her. She’s always been lingering in the back of my mind, burrowing herself under my skin.
This girl has a hold on me that she doesn’t even know about and I refuse to admit it out loud.
Sliding my hand around the back of her head, my fingers slide through her silky strands as I slide my tongue along hers. Caught in a delicate dance, they tangle with one another as I slide my other hand down to her hip. Pulling on her, I tug her closer until our bodies are flush against one another’s. Eden holds on to me for support as our lips mold together.
Nothing matters in this moment except this. This is all that I want. She is all that I want.
Releasing her head, I slide my other hand down to her hips and move both under her ass. Lifting her into the air, she gasps against my mouth as she instinctively wraps her legs around my waist. As appealing as fucking her in the kitchen is, I want her spread out for me on her bed. To worship and thoroughly enjoy.
My feet carry us through the apartment until I find my way through the dark, carrying her into her bedroom. I don’t bother shutting the door and Eden doesn’t say anything. Instead, her mouth finds my neck, sucking and nipping at my skin. My cock strains against my pants and she’s driving me mad with the way she slides her tongue along my flesh.
Lowering her down onto the bed, I slide my hands out from under her ass as I lay her down. Her arms are still linked around the back of my neck, pulling me down with her. Her head hits the mattress, her hair spreading out across the comforter like a halo around her head. Reaching up to grab her hands, I pull them away from me as I rock back onto my knees.
Eden stares up at me, her hands falling onto her chest. My gaze trails over her body, watching the way her rib cage expands and contracts with every breath she takes. Pressing my fingertips against her collarbone, I slowly drag them along her torso, feeling the planes and curves of her body through her clothes.
She slowly releases her legs from around my waist, her feet falling onto the mattress as she moves her hips. Lifting them into the air, she attempts to get close to me. My hand reaches for her waist, pushing her ass back against the bed. Eden moans in protest, a fire burning in her gaze as it collides with mine.
“Please, Hayden,” she breathes, her pulse visible in her throat. Leaning forward, I press my mouth to the exact spot, feeling her blood pumping as her heart races in her chest. A smile pulls on my lips as I slide my tongue along her skin, dragging it down the column of her throat.
“Patience, baby,” I murmur against her flesh before biting at it. I run my tongue along the half-moon shapes that I leave in her skin. “Good things come to those who wait.”
“Well, I’ve been waiting a long fucking time since the last time you were here.”
Lifting my head up, a smile crooks on my lips as I raise any eyebrow at her. “If I remember correctly, you’re the one who kicked me out that morning.”
She lifts her finger and presses it to my lips as she hooks one hand around the back of my neck. “Shhh,” she murmurs, shaking her head at me. “I like it better when you don’t talk.”
“And why is that?”
Eden rolls her hips, her eyes fluttering as she inhales deeply. “Because you always say the right things.”
A chuckle slips from my lips as I press them back to hers. I let Eden take control, sliding her hands under my shirt as her mouth moves against mine. She pushes me back and I let her pull off my shirt as she sits up with me.
She doesn’t wait for me to make a move and removes her own shirt and bra before I even have the chance to. I love her energy and the fact that she doesn’t fuck around. Eden gets straight to the point. And if this is all she’s going to give me, then I’m going to take everything I can get.
I move off the bed, watching her as she removes her pants and underwear and tosses them to the floor. I’m still dressed from the waist down, but my cock is as hard as a fucking rock as I take in the sight of her. Spread out, naked for me on the bed… exactly where I want her.
My throat constricts and it feels like a vise grip tightens around my heart. I’m suddenly overcome with an emotion that I don’t dare put a name to. Swallowing hard over the lump in my throat, my eyes meet Eden’s. She stares at me, with no judgement or hesitation. She’s ready to dive into the waters, regardless of where the current might drag us.
I know this is a mistake, and I can’t stop myself from making it with her.
She was right about how this will end, yet I still can’t stop this from happening.
Sliding my hands under the waistband of my sweatpants, I push them and my boxer briefs down before stepping out of them. Eden doesn’t tear her gaze from mine, watching me as I climb onto the bed and over the top of her. Her lips part slightly, a ragged breath slipping from her. She’s an enigma. The mystery girl that I met at the lake.
So fucking ethereal, yet so fucking deadly.
Planting my hands on the bed, on either side of her head, I settle between her thighs. She spreads them and wraps her legs around my waist as I shift my hips, slowly pressing into her. A moan falls from her lips, her gaze still on mine, and I feel that damn vise grip tightening in my chest again. I need to push her out of my mind, forget that it’s her and just get lost in the moment.
But I can’t…
I can’t get lost in the moment, because I’m already lost in her.
