It’s been a few days of the same thing with Eden. I’ve been trying to get closer to her but there has been a shift in the wrong direction. Instead of her ice melting, it’s almost as if she’s had a guard up even more. When I’m around her, she’s still herself with me, but a little more reserved.
I noticed the night I invited her over to watch a movie. She was silent for most of it, which was fine. I had her come over with good intentions, not to try and get her in my bed and have it be that. I know keeping it that way was the original plan, but plans constantly change.
I want more from her than just her body. I want her mind, her soul, every fucking piece she will give me.
But the more I try to get inside, the more she seems to block me out. She hasn’t been avoiding me like she did in the beginning. I see her more often than I ever have in the past year we’ve been attending the same university.
Most nights, she either ends up here or I end up at her place. She doesn’t like to talk much and whenever I try to open the door for conversation, she shuts me down. I don’t know what happened, but it’s really fucking strange.
As I sit at the kitchen island, I replay that night over in my head, thinking of what could have set her off. She was fine until she went to the bathroom, and then she came back different. Did she get a phone call or a text? I didn’t hear her phone go off at all throughout the rest of the evening.
She went upstairs to the bathroom… and Sterling and Simon were both up there.
Just as the thought enters my mind, Sterling comes strolling into the kitchen to make his typical morning protein shake. Lifting my head, my gaze meets his and I narrow my eyes at him.
“Did you see Eden when she was here last week?”
Sterling shrugs. “I don’t remember. She’s been here a lot, so I’m sure I did.”
My eyes slice to his. “Don’t bullshit me, Sterling. What did you say to her?”
He rolls his eyes, an exasperated sigh escaping him as he turns his back to me and pulls open the fridge. “I told her the truth. That I don’t want to see her get hurt again like she did with Orion.”
What the fuck.
“Why the hell would you say anything to her?” I can’t help the anger that is boiling inside of me in this moment. I knew there had to have been something that caused the shift in the way Eden was acting toward me. And this entire time, it’s been right in front of my face. My own fucking friend who is supposed to have my back.
“Because you didn’t see how she fell apart when things ended between them, Hayden,” he says, as he puts his hands on the counter and leans on them. His eyes stare into mine, not with any anger or animosity, but instead they’re filled with concern. “She took it fucking hard. It bothered me that she wrote off our friendship, but it hurt even more to see how broken she was because of him.”
“I’m not going to do that to her, Sterling,” I tell him, my voice desperate with my plea. “I know I don’t have the best track record with girls and lord knows I have no idea what to do when it comes to relationships. But hurting Eden is nowhere on my to-do list in life.”
Sterling tilts his head to the side, curiosity in his gaze. “So, what happens after graduation? Say you get drafted and have to move across the country. Then what happens with you and Eden?”
I stare at him for a moment, considering his words. There’s nothing malicious behind what he’s saying. Instead, he’s trying to get me to look at the whole picture. To look into the future—somewhere further than I normally look. And I haven’t even considered what would happen then.
“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. “I haven’t thought that far ahead. Nothing between us is even definitive. We both decided to take it for whatever it was and just have fun with it. I don’t know what the fuck happens next, Sterling.”
“Well, that’s something you need to consider,” he says matter-of-factly as he pushes off the counter. I watch him as he collects all of the ingredients for his shake and throws them into the blender. “Eden Finley isn’t a temporary kind of girl. She might have you fooled right now, but she doesn’t just take things for whatever they might be. If you guys have an agreement, then I hope to God you’re actually on the same page and not the one she’s showing you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Sterling sighs. “Eden plays everything close to her chest. She’s not going to reveal all of her cards if she doesn’t know what you’re holding. I know her well enough to know there is more to her than the two of you are making it out to be.”
“So, what am I supposed to do?” I’m at a loss. I don’t know the first thing about being in a relationship with someone and I don’t know if that’s what I want with Eden. All I know is, I don’t want her to have that with anyone else. I want her to myself.
Sterling stares at me for a moment. “Don’t fuck it up.”
After finding out the ice schedule, I now know that Eden has been using the open ice time at the beginning of the day. She’s in and out before most of us are even out of bed. Not this morning, though. She didn’t see me when I arrived at the rink a few minutes after her.
And she didn’t even notice me as I hovered in the stands while she effortlessly floated around the rink.
She skated for a solid hour and a half before exiting through the tunnel. After exiting the stands, I made my way downstairs to where the locker rooms are. As I turn the corner and head toward the rooms, I see her as she slips out, dressed with her coat and winter boots on.
Eden swings her bag over her shoulder, her head lifting as her gaze meets mine. A smirk forms on my lips as her eyes widen and she halts mid-step. “What are you doing here?”
I walk up to her, stopping once I reach her. “I could ask you the same thing.”
“Are you stalking me now?”
Laughter vibrates in my chest and I watch her face scrunch up in irritation. “Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. You tell me, Finley. Do you want me to be your stalker?”
“Don’t be a creep, King,” she laughs, shaking her head. “But seriously, what are you doing here? I thought you didn’t have practice until tonight.”
“I don’t,” I tell her, shrugging. “I knew you would be here and I wanted to see you.”
Her lips part slightly, her face relaxing as she shifts her weight on her feet. It’s obvious the effect I have on her, and I let it fuel my ego. It’s probably a little unhealthy, but she’s not stupid. Eden knows the power she holds over me as well.
“I mean, you do have my number… you could have called or texted me instead.”
“What would be the fun in that?” I ask her, tilting my head to the side as I raise an eyebrow. “Plus, I like watching you skate and you’re never here when I am.”
She’s silent again, almost as if she doesn’t know how to respond. I take that as my cue to keep talking. She has a way of making me question everything and if I don’t ask her now, I don’t know that I ever will.
“I have an away game this weekend and I want you to come with me.”
Eden raises an eyebrow at me. “You want me to go away with you for the weekend?”
I nod, holding back the laugh at her literally repeating what I just said. “Yeah. I have to ride to and from the game with the team and stay with them. But I was thinking, if you came and got a hotel room, I could sneak out and see you.”
“Couldn’t that get you in a lot of trouble?”
A smirk plays on my lips. “Only if I get caught.”
The lilt of Eden’s laughter is like music to my soul. The sound slides over my eardrums like silk and I want to live in this moment. The sound of her—just being in her presence—is intoxicating. “You really want me to?”
“More than anything.”
Eden’s silent for a moment before the corners of her lips lift. “Then I’ll follow you for the weekend.”
Letting out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, relief washes over me. I can’t help but want her to take that sentence back and change the wording. I don’t just want her to follow me for the weekend. I want her to follow me through life.
Although, that’s not an option. Eden and I both live two separate lives. One of us is going to have to make a sacrifice at some point. We have separate dreams, ones that don’t exactly coincide. I don’t know how to make it work, but I’m at the point where I would consider following her instead of expecting her to follow me.
Whether it’s our hearts or our skates… one will suffer in the end.
