Asher left earlier this morning to go shopping with his father. He made sure we both went downstairs and joined the rest of the family for breakfast before they left the house. His sisters and their husbands went to go visit some of their friends and his mother was going to go have lunch with one of her friends.
Before Asher left, he had invited me along but he was being weird about it. Almost as if he didn’t actually want me to go but was extending the invitation just so things wouldn’t be awkward. I didn’t mind staying at their house by myself, but his behavior was weird and had me questioning everything.
Last night, he told me he was glad I came here and was staying with his family. And then instead of sleeping with me in bed again, he made a bed for himself on the floor. I didn’t push the issue because I’m confused with everything that involves Asher right now. I can’t get a read on him, and his words and actions aren’t exactly matching up.
He was fine at breakfast, engaging in conversation and back to his normal self, but then when it was time for them to leave, there was a weird shift. He’s giving me whiplash and honestly, it’s getting a little exhausting. I’m okay if he just wants to be friends and go back to the way things were before the wedding.
But if we’re going to do that, then we need to agree on some ground rules.
The first one being that he doesn’t kiss me the way he did again.
With it being the dead of winter and frigid outside, I spend the day inside, laying in Asher’s bed as I binge-watch some shows on Netflix. It’s hard to not let my mind drift to him and the intimate moments we’ve shared, but I try my hardest to keep them from clouding my thoughts.
It’s later in the afternoon when I hear Asher and his father arrive back home. He doesn’t come up to his room for a little bit and I’m half tempted to go see what he’s up to before I decide against it. After this morning, I’m not sure if I feel comfortable approaching him or not. Instead, I’ll wait for him to come to me.
Sitting up in Asher’s bed, I pull the blanket over my lap and prop myself up with some pillows as he enters the room. My eyes meet his and he flashes his straight white teeth at me as he sees that I’ve made myself at home in his bed.
“Sorry we were gone so long,” he tells me as he walks over to the bed and drops down on the edge of it. “My father decided to wait until the last minute to buy everyone’s presents.”
“That’s okay,” I tell him as I pause the show I’m watching. The way he acted this morning is still on my mind, bothering me. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” he responds without hesitation as he turns to face me on the bed.
Pulling my lips between my teeth, I bite down on my bottom one before releasing it. “You were acting kind of weird this morning. Did I do something wrong? I obviously didn’t want to impose on you and your father having the day out together, but you just seemed off before you left.”
He stares at me for a moment, tilting his head to the side as a worried look passes through his eyes. “I wasn’t trying to act weird at all. I’m sorry if I made it seem like I was being off or something. I wanted you to come along, but I didn’t want you to because I have a surprise. And I’m trying really hard to not spoil it.”
“What kind of a surprise?” I question him, my eyebrows pulling together. Suddenly, it dawns on me why he didn’t want me to come shopping with them. “Asher, I swear… you better not have bought me a Christmas gift.”
Asher smiles brightly at me and my stomach sinks. I didn’t have the chance to buy him anything and the last thing I need is for him to get me a gift. That is one of the worst feelings in the world for me. I hate when someone gets me something and I don’t have anything to give them in return.
“Don’t worry about it.” He laughs lightly as he kicks off his shoes and climbs farther onto the bed. I move over enough to give him some room as he slides under the covers and props his head on a pillow. “Tell me about your day. And what show I’m about to get sucked into with you.”
I tell Asher the extent of my day and how I’ve essentially been in the same place since after breakfast. He seems content, knowing that I spent the day relaxing without any worries. Little does he know, I struggled with thoughts of him all damn day long. He seems interested in the show as soon as I tell him about it and we fall into a comfortable silence as he grabs the remote and presses Play.
There’s a part of me that wants to push the issue of him potentially buying me a Christmas gift, but for now, I’ll let it go. I just need to find some way to sneak away and get him a gift too. With Christmas Eve being tomorrow night, I don’t know how I’m going to get away. Perhaps I can borrow his mom sometime tomorrow and she can take me out.
I hate the thought of having to ask anyone for favors while I’m here. They’ve already taken me in as if I’m a part of their family and I hate asking for any more than they’ve already given me. But I’m kind of limited with my options here, especially since I came with Asher and he’s my only resource to get around town.
Not to mention the fact that I have no idea where anything is around here anyway. This is a brand-new place that I’ve never been to and I don’t know where the closest shopping mall even is.
We watch two more episodes of the show I’ve immersed myself in and Asher is completely on board with it. That’s one of the things I love about him and our friendship. We get along so well and everything is just so damn easy between us. I can’t let what happened between us ruin this at all. I need to separate my feelings for him and just let things resume how they were before we came here.
Asher’s mother comes to the bedroom door, knocking lightly on it before he tells her to come in. She gently pushes open the door, a smile on her face as she sees the two of us watching TV together.
“Were the two of you ready to go to the gardens soon?” she asks as she hovers in the doorway. “Your father and I were talking about us all getting dinner before going.”
“That sounds perfect,” Asher tells her, returning her smile as he sits up in bed and throws off the covers. “When did you want to head out?”
His mother looks over to me. “How long do you need to get ready, Sydney?”
“Probably only fifteen minutes,” I respond, shrugging lightly. I took a shower this morning after everyone left so I just need to throw on some makeup and some real clothes.
“Perfect,” she smiles, her eyes bouncing back and forth between the two of us. “We were thinking about driving separately. Just in case it gets too cold and your father and I decide to leave early.”
“Whatever you want to do is good with us,” Asher rises to his feet as he walks over to his dresser and pulls out a pair of jeans. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable out there, so driving separately is perfectly fine.”
Rachel nods, her smile falling slightly as a wave of sadness passes through her eyes. I know that her doctors are hoping they can safely declare that she’s in remission now, but it’s clear she’s still physically struggling from everything her body went through. And it breaks my heart for her.
“I’ll see you guys downstairs in a little bit,” his mother tells us before she disappears from his room, pulling the door shut behind her.
Asher strips out of his sweatpants and my eyes widen as I watch him from where I’m still sitting in his bed. I know I’ve already seen him naked, but this feels like I should be giving him some privacy.
“I’ll leave the room so you can get changed,” I tell him, nervousness lingering in my words as I quickly climb out of his bed. My legs get tangled in the blankets and I practically fall onto the floor.
Laughter rumbles from Asher’s chest and he raises an eyebrow at me as I get up from the floor. “Babe, you’ve already seen me naked. I’m just changing into a pair of jeans and a hoodie. It’s nothing you haven’t seen already.”
I swallow hard over the lump in my throat, feeling the warmth creep up my neck and rapidly spread across my cheeks. Turning my back to him, I walk over to where my suitcase is and grab a change of clothes from it. As I turn back around to face him, Asher is standing there with his watchful gaze on me.
We’ve already crossed a line and there’s no coming back from that. I shouldn’t play with his head, but he’s been giving me whiplash, so it’s only right I give him a taste of his own medicine.
My eyes meet his and I challenge him with a hard stare as I pull my shirt over my head. His gaze trails over my breasts that are covered by my bra and I watch his throat bob. Sliding my fingers under the waistband of my pajama pants, I push them down my thighs until I’m standing in front of him in just my underwear and bra.
Asher’s irises ignite as a fire burns in his gaze. He doesn’t tear his eyes away from me as I stare him down. I know I’m pushing the limits of our friendship, which is a complete contradiction to wanting to preserve it instead of ruin it. But Asher has been toying with me, going back and forth with him putting distance between us and then kissing or touching me.
Two can play this game…
But I’m afraid neither of us will win.
