Last night, Sydney ended up falling asleep on the couch while we watched movies and I couldn’t bring myself to wake her up. Instead, I stayed where I was and fell asleep sitting up after covering her with a blanket, letting her use me as a pillow. At some point we must have shifted, because when I woke up this morning, we were spooning on the couch.
Sydney’s chest rises and falls with every breath she takes and I wrap my arm tighter around her, reveling in the feeling of her this close. We have to go back to Vermont tomorrow… back to reality, where she isn’t my girlfriend anymore.
Honestly, I would love to stay in this alternate reality for a little longer.
The aroma from the food that my mother is cooking invades my senses. Sydney stirs in my arms as a loud sound comes from the kitchen. The house is already coming to life as everyone makes their way back into the living room.
Sydney is awake now, but she lays silently for a moment, almost as if she doesn’t want this moment to end either.
“Asher?” she says softly, her voice quiet as she continues to lay in my arms. “Are you awake?”
“I am,” I tell her, not loosening my grip around her waist. “How did you sleep?”
“Considering the fact that we slept on the couch, pretty well,” she laughs lightly. “Sorry I fell asleep during the movie. I must have been pretty tired.”
“Don’t apologize, Syd.” I pause for a moment, carefully choosing my words before deciding fuck it. “I enjoyed sleeping down here with you.”
She’s silent again for a moment, before she begins to shift in my arms. “I really need to go to the bathroom. And it sounds like everyone’s already awake.”
Moving my arm away from her, I give her space to get up and she quickly climbs to her feet. “I’m just going to go to the bathroom quick and brush my teeth and stuff.”
I offer her a small smile, but it doesn’t feel like it comes anywhere close to reaching my eyes. “I’ll meet you back in here.”
Sydney smiles at me, looking nervous before she disappears from the room. I hear the door shut to the downstairs bathroom and I climb off the couch, heading back upstairs. I slip into the bathroom on the second floor and relieve my bladder before brushing my teeth. As I finish up and leave the room, Sydney is there, waiting to go inside to brush her teeth.
Neither of us say a word as I slide past her and head up into my bedroom. I don’t know why there’s a weirdness between us suddenly. I think the heaviness of tomorrow is weighing on both of us and I need to figure out how I can get more time with Sydney.
I’m not ready for this to be over.
Grabbing the presents that we wrapped last night, I head downstairs to meet up with everyone in the living room. Everyone is already down there except for Sydney. My mother is passing out the gifts to everyone and I take a seat in front of the small pile that has ones labeled with my name. There’s a small pile beside mine, all with Sydney’s name on them.
It warms my heart, the way my family has just taken her in like she’s always been a part of our family. And that just solidifies the decision I know I need to make. I want more of her time; I want all of her. And right now, there’s only two ways this is going to go.
All or nothing.
Our friendship is already ruined and there’s no way either of us can go back to the way things were before. So, we’re left with no choice. Either she’s a part of my future or I have to let her go completely. Because after spending this time together, I don’t know that I can have her in my life if she doesn’t want more with me.
Sydney appears in the doorway, her eyes meeting mine before she walks over and sits down on the plush rug beside me. Her eyes widen as she sees the presents that my mother set out for her, all labeled from my family members. “What is this?” She looks up at me, her eyes wet with emotion.
“Exactly what it looks like.” I wink at her. “They’re pretty fucking smitten by you.”
She swallows hard as she recovers from the emotion that threatened to consume her. Reaching past me, she begins to pick up the presents that she got everyone and passes them around the circle. Everyone seems surprised that she got them something, since it was never a requirement for her being here.
I never expected Sydney to get anyone anything and she surprised me when she did. She was sneaky, having my mom take her out. I don’t know how she managed to pull off getting everyone something with my mother hovering around, but somehow she did.
She got each of my sisters and my mother a necklace. They’re all delicate, with small diamonds encrusted in the swirled design. I don’t pay any attention to what she gets either of my brothers-in-law or father as she hands me a small box.
“You didn’t have to get me anything, babe,” I tell her, my voice soft as her eyes search mine. I watch as a pink tint spreads across her cheeks and she ducks her head slightly. “But first, open mine,” I tell her, as I reach behind my back and grab two boxes for her.
Sydney takes them from me, her eyes widening as she stares at me for a moment. “What the hell, Ash,” she mumbles, shaking her head. “First, we never agreed on gifts. And now you went and got me two instead?”
“Shhh,” I shush her, pressing my finger against her soft plump lips. “Just shut up and open them.”
Sydney starts with the bigger box, pulling off the wrapping paper before she reaches the box underneath. She takes off the lid, my stomach doing flips as I watch her face light up. Reaching inside, she grabs the yoke of the shirt and lifts it up, holding it in the air.
“You got me a jersey?” she questions me, staring at the black Wyncote Wolves jersey. I watch her as she turns it to see the back, noting the number 30 and Golding in bold white letters. “Oh my god, you got me one of your jerseys?”
I smile at her, feeling my heart swell at how genuinely happy she is about it. She’s come to a few of my games before, but only as a friend. And never with one of my jerseys on. Hopefully we can change how that goes down in the future, and I can’t wait to see her in it.
I don’t tell her, but I had gotten the jersey for her before we even left to come here. I don’t know what compelled me in the moment, but I can take a safe guess now that it had to do with my feelings for her that I was trying to bury deep inside.
“Open yours,” she insists as she carefully folds the jersey and puts it back in the box.
My eyes meet hers and I shake my head. “Nope. You first and then I’ll open mine.”
Sydney rolls her eyes as a sigh slips from her lips and she tears at the wrapping paper on the smaller box. She glances up at me, her throat bobbing as she notices that it’s a black velvet box. My heart crawls into my throat as I watch her lift the lid, her eyes lighting up when she sees what is inside.
“Oh my god, Asher,” she breathes, her voice barely audible over everyone else laughing in the background. Part of me forgot that my family was even present in the room as our surroundings seem to dissipate whenever Sydney is near me. “This is such a beautiful set.”
I watch her as she plucks the diamond earrings from inside the box and slides them through the holes in her ears. She carefully takes the matching necklace out and looks at me, holding it out. “Will you help me put this on?”
“Of course,” I tell her, my voice hoarse. I take the necklace from Sydney and she turns to face the opposite direction, showing me her back. Wrapping her hands around her long thick hair, she pulls it over her shoulder as I unclasp the necklace and loop it around her neck.
She grabs the diamond pendant with her other hand, holding it in place as I secure it around the back of her neck. My fingertips brush against her skin and my heart thumps as I feel her warmth beneath my fingers.
Sydney turns back around to face me, releasing her hair before she positions the necklace on her chest. “How does it look?”
“Fucking perfect,” I breathe, staring deep into her eyes. “And I don’t just mean the necklace.”
Sydney stares back at me for a moment, her eyes glossing over as she swallows hard. Her lips part slightly, almost as if she’s going to say something, but instead her tongue darts out as she wets them. “Open yours now.”
A chuckle vibrates in my chest at her persistence and I oblige. Picking up the small box she had gotten me, I tear off the paper and open the box beneath it. I didn’t pay attention to the name that was inscribed on the lid, but as I flip it open and see the watch inside, I’m at a loss for words.
This is too much. She couldn’t have spent this much money on me.
“A Rolex?” I look up at her, shaking my head. “I can’t accept this, Syd. This is way too much.”
She purses her lips, tilting her head to the side. “Money doesn’t matter, Asher. It’s a nice watch and I thought you would like it. If you don’t like it, I can take it back and you can pick something else out.”
“No, that’s not it at all. It’s fucking awesome, but I can’t accept something this expensive.”
“Can you forget about how much it may have cost and maybe just think of it as a nice gift?”
There’s a weird tension between us and I’m not sure who is more uncomfortable in this moment. My family doesn’t come from money like hers does, so it feels weird accepting a gift like this. Especially when the necklace and earrings I got her are only a fraction of how much this watch cost.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, my eyes desperately searching hers. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I just know this was probably really expensive and I didn’t spend near as much on you.”
“Asher, we don’t live in the 1950s… a woman is allowed to spend more on a man.”
My sisters both choke out a laugh, as they must have caught the tail end of our conversation. I slice my eyes to them, but the sound of my mother clearing her throat grabs my attention. As I glance over at her, she gives me a look of disapproval, and I suddenly feel guilty for the whole thing.
“We still have some time before dinner is ready, so who wants to watch some more Hallmark movies and play some board games?” my mother asks, trying to clear the awkwardness in the air.
It doesn’t quite erase the tension between the two of us, but as I rise to my feet and hold my hand out to Sydney, she slides her palm against mine without any hesitation. I lift her to her feet and she doesn’t let go of me as we all head to the couch to settle in for a movie.
I want to enjoy the rest of my time with her, because tomorrow is our last day here. And then will come the day that will come down to the choice we have to make. I’m going to leave the ball in Sydney’s court, but I have no idea how she’s going to react to it.
And I’ve never dreaded anything more.
