HIS WIFE WAS GONE when he awoke the next morning. Honestly, he had expected it. Delton knew she couldn’t run forever. Even though he’d promised to dissolve their marriage, he couldn’t bring himself to do so. Memories of their time together circled his mind, leaving him drained and heartbroken.
She had asked him to let her go. He should respect it and stay far away. Except, he didn’t want to. He’d thought her betrayal would hurt not having her around hurt more. He wanted to do something…anything…to reconcile with her.
Every moment without her was agony. The path that lay ahead of him was long and lonely. What was he supposed to do with the rest of his immortal life without her? He’d found Ifer, his greatest enemy. He’d conquered lands and established new regimes. However, at that moment, it all seemed so insignificant. For none of it had ever managed to fill the hole in his heart. Only she could do that.
He wished he’d never found out the truth; never come to realize that she was Ifer. Could they have been happy then?
After she’d left, he’d come to realize that the past no longer had a hold on him. The pain he expected, the sense of righteousness and betrayal never came. He no longer hated Karina. How could he, when it had brought him to Xara? If she hadn’t left, he’d never have found the person that he really belonged with.
When he thought about everything again, he began to see Xara’s betrayal in a new light. He’d thought Ifer was her revenge, but he meant more to her than Delton had anticipated. Delton had claimed to love her but he didn’t know all of her. Now, he did. Ifer was a part of her too—a shadow that held up the light. The silent strength she carried. Ifer had pulled Xara out of the depths of suffering and transformed her into someone strong. In wanting to cut out that part of her, he’d asked her to stop being herself. He admired her strength but not the source of it. For the source was darkness, suffering, and revenge. But the darkness was as much a part of her as compassion or kindness. The question was, could he love that part too?
A knock resounded on the door just as he turned his face in that direction. Darius strode in, wearing his military uniform. With his combed brown hair and cheerful disposition, he greeted Delton.
“General.” Just the person he wanted to speak to this morning.
“Your Majesty, are you all right? You don’t look so well,” Darius noted. White wings trailing behind him, he took in Delton’s generally disheveled state. “Michael reported to duty but he says that he cannot find the queen.”
“Michael doesn’t need to report to work anymore. She has left.” The words were like the final blow—an official pronouncement of their separation. His wife had left him and he had no idea how to bring her back.
“Left?” Darius’ eyes widened. “Has she returned to Cadia?”
“I assume she has,” Delton said.
When he didn’t supply any more information, Darius prodded, “And what of Ifer? Felix says you went to the farm alone.”
“Interesting you should mention Ifer in the same breath as the queen.” Delton’s sharp eyes turned on him. “As you can see, Ifer isn’t here.”
Darius gave nothing away. “We can capture him next time—“
“Drop the act, Darius. I know that you know Ifer’s real identity. All this time, you’ve been keeping it from me.”
Delton had expected him to deny it but he merely sighed. “How did you find out?”
“I caught her in the act.”
“So last night…” Darius’ exhale was pronounced. “Is that why she left? Has she…run away?” He took a step forward. “I know you’re angry, Your Majesty. But the queen had her reasons for undertaking such a dangerous role—“
Delton held his hand up. “You don’t have to convince me, Darius. I’m not going to hurt her. Quite the contrary.” He swallowed, his composure shattering. “Who else knows?”
“Michael,” Darius said truthfully. “Osric and Walric know too. I don’t think any of us is likely to speak.”
Delton nodded. Good. Her secret would remain safe for now. But nobody could predict the future.
“When were you planning to tell me the truth?” He asked. “Looking back, it all makes sense. That’s why you told me you thought Ifer was a woman. You knew it was Xara. If you’d told me earlier, none of this would’ve happened. I’m the king of this country, dammit. You owe me your loyalty.”
“I do.” But he didn’t budge.
“Why then did you protect a criminal? Was it because she healed you?”
“She’s the queen of this country. It is my duty to protect her.”
“Is that what you were doing? Protecting her?”
“Yes. It’s why Michael decided to become her bodyguard. We were both worried about what would happen when you found out the truth.”
He scoffed. “You were protecting her from me?” It was a ridiculous notion.
“You must admit that you haven’t always been kind to her. Before you returned to Cadia, you wanted to use her to get to Walric. If you’d found out that she was Ifer before, would you have forgiven her? Would you have understood her reasons?”
No. He wouldn’t have.
“Whose side are you on?” he asked.
“Must I take sides? You and the queen are supposed to be on the same side.”
“She doesn’t want to be on my side.”
“And what about you? Do you want to be on hers?”
“I don’t know how to convince her,” he said. “She says she wants to dissolve our marriage. Xara wants Escayton back. She won’t give up being Ifer.”
“And what do you want, Your Majesty?”
“I don’t want to let her go. But I don’t know if I can give her the things she wants. I wish I could just go back to living in peace.”
Darius eyed him speculatively. “You weren’t living in peace before.”
He was right and didn’t Delton know it.
“I don’t think you’ve been at peace since the day I met you. You’re always restless, trying to fill the emptiness inside with more… more land, more power, and more glory.”
“You are the same, general.”
“That’s why I know how futile it is. Do you think holding onto Escayton will bring you peace? It is just a piece of land. It has no heart, no soul, and no ability to know or love you. It is not worth the sacrifice.”
But she is.
He left those words unsaid.
And wasn’t he right? Xara would be worth any sacrifice he would make.
He didn’t want to surrender Escayton—to let go of the greatest trophy he’d won. But he wanted her more. Even her darkness captivated him. She was so unique. After he’d found out the truth, it made more sense. They were both creatures of the darkness. They had both transformed their scars into power. He would never find someone whom he loved so much; somebody who understood him because they’d gone through the same things. So, it made sense that to possess such a valuable thing, he’d have to give up something great in return.
Delton turned to Darius; his mind made up. He had never been one to sit around and wait for circumstances to fix themselves. This time too, he’d take the lead. He’d make her see how much he loved her.
“You know, when you returned from Cadia after giving away the orb to Michael, I thought you foolish.”
“But now?” Darius prompted.
“Now I know exactly how you felt.”
Like he was rapidly crumbling and there was nothing he could do to hold on to who he used to be.
“Summon Felix. We’re calling off the search for Ifer.”
