“Would it give you comfort to know I’ve been waiting for this since you returned?”
I turn to Grady. Is he serious? He expected that to happen?
“No.” My voice is higher than usual.
He just chuckles. “Really? What did you think would happen when the same old sassy Mila, with a hot body, returned to three sixteen-year-old guys who only think with their dicks? Of course, they’re going to fight over you. They had to make a pact at the age of ten to stop fighting over you, and that was before you got all…” He waves his hand at me. “Sexy.”
Well, now that he put it that way…fuck.
To be honest, I didn’t have much time to think about it when I was on the plane. I didn’t think about how much I had changed…or they had. Instead, I remembered all the good times.
I smirk at Grady. “You think I have a hot body and I’m sexy?”
He groans and shakes his head, but I can see the smile on his face. “You’re just as bad as them, Mimi.”
I laugh. “You know, you’re pretty wise for someone who is only a year older. Where do you get all your wisdom from, oh wise one?” I prop my hand under my chin and gaze up at him from the middle console, a playful smile on my face as I bat my lashes.
He looks down at me and snorts. “I hang around smart people. You should try it.”
I laugh again. “You know…I used to have a big crush on you.” I sit back and watch his expression. I’d never told him, or anyone, about my crushes. But, for some reason, I want him to know now.
“Really? I had one on you too.”
I blink and gape at him. What? He had a crush on me? When? How?
“Why didn’t you say something?”
He shrugs and glances at me briefly before looking back to the road. “What, like I would’ve ever had a chance. You had three best friends who’d been in love with you since the day they met you. I knew I couldn’t compete with that, and that’s okay. A childhood crush is just that—a crush.”
“You might have had a chance?” I say, though it comes out as a question.
He shakes his head. “Hell, Mimi. You gave them all their first kiss. You never came to see me that day. You never asked me for your first kiss.”
I toy with the strap of my bag as I watch the houses go past, thinking about what he’d said. I didn’t go to him. But that’s because I thought he didn’t like me. Or had I known, deep down, that he wasn’t for me?
“You told me I was like an annoying little sister you never wanted. You made me think I was like a sister to you. I cried for three days, Grady. My dad didn’t know what was wrong with me and wanted me to see a doctor. But I was just heartbroken that the boy I had a crush on for a whole year thought of me as a sister…an annoying one, at that.”
Neither of us speak for the rest of the drive. He pulls into my driveway, and I unbuckle myself. I don’t look at him. “Thank you, for the lift,” I whisper.
“Stop, Mila. Look at me, please.”
I glance over under my lashes to see Grady has taken his seat belt off and moved closer to me. My eyes widen at the sudden change, and the air in the car seems thicker somehow. Or maybe my throat is thick with emotion.
“Mila, I told you that because I didn’t want my heart broken. I thought if I told you that you’re like an annoying sister that you would stay away from me. Hate me. Because if you hated me, there was no way you would find out I was actually in love with you. I was scared you would laugh at me, and that was a worse fear than you hating me.”
My heart drops at his admission. I never would have done that to him. But he couldn’t have known that.
“Grady…” I reach out and take his hand.
Fuck, today has been a clusterfuck of emotions. I hadn’t expected the car ride to go this way when I got in. Or that confessing my crush on him back then would result in Grady admitting that the feelings were mutual.
“I’d just turned thirteen,” he says. “My body was changing, and I didn’t know what to do with all my feelings or the hormones. I was a stupid teenage boy, with a crush on his younger brother’s best friend.
“I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I didn’t know. I thought it was one-sided. That you only saw me as Jace’s big brother. That you never thought of me as anything more.” He groans. “And when I heard about your first kisses two weeks ago, that cemented it. I was never on your radar, and it reminded me again how I never had a chance.”
He leans back into his headrest and closes his eyes, running his other hand down his face. Oh god. That’s how I felt when he said I was like a sister.
He surprises me by drawing closer. His hand moves to my face, brushing my hair behind my ear before cupping my cheek. It feels nice, and my stomach flutters at the gesture. Grady’s big eyes—the same color as Jace’s—roam my face like he’s looking at me for the first time. Really looking at me.
I study his face too. He has a sharper jawline now. The stubble on his cheek is dark, and I itch to touch it. To see if it’s scratchy or soft. He’s grown bigger in the past four years; his chest is wider, and even his hands are huge.
When his eyes land on my lips, I unconsciously wet them. He’s always had kissable lips. Is he going to kiss me? Do I want him to? My breathing becomes more rapid as my lips part.
He moves in, pressing his warm lips against mine, and I close my eyes at the touch. I gasp as I arch into him, reaching out to cup his cheek as he deepens the kiss. His stubble is rough, and I rub my thumb over it. He moans, his tongue sweeping over my lower lip, and I open to meet his with mine.
God, he’s a good kisser. His scent is intoxicating as I reach down and pull his black tee toward me, like I can’t get close enough to him.
His phone rings, and we both pull apart abruptly. I touch my fingers to my swollen lips. Grady looks ruffled as he gives me a gorgeous grin. He looks down at the caller ID. Jace.
Fuck, I curse myself internally.
I thought the shit that happened before I got into the car was confusing and messy enough, but now…confusing and messy doesn’t even begin to describe it.
Grady answers, and before he can say anything to me, I open the door and step out, slamming it behind me.
“Mila,” he calls from his open window, but I’m already at the front door, unlocking it. I need to speak to someone. Someone who can help me understand what the fuck I’m doing. Because, clearly, I’m not thinking straight.
“If you’re handing out kisses to everyone, why am I missing out again?” Asher rolls over on my bed to my nightstand to grab another chocolate out of my secret sweet drawer.
I round the bed and slam it shut, almost catching his fingers. “Because we established you’re gonna be my stepbrother, maybe, and sex is already off the table. I need help.”
He laughs. “You need serious help. A shrink, maybe?”
I smack him with my pillow. He raises his arms, and I hit him again. He’s laughing at me as I huff and drop to the floor beside my bed and lean my head against the wall. He rolls over to the edge and looks down at me.
“You know, I had to fake illness to come here. I thought it was a real emergency. I’m supposed to be at training with your dad.”
“This is a real emergency.”
To be honest, I didn’t think about that when I called him. I told him I needed him and I’m at home. He was fast. I guess, after what happened at the party the other night, he’s worried about me. I have no idea why I called him. He was the first person I could think of that could help me.
He sits up and swings his legs off the bed before sitting beside me, his shoulder nudging mine. “So, you kissed Grady Montero? I hope he kisses better than he tackles.” I smile and shove him. “Makes sense why he was gunning for me so hard, though.”
I look at him, and he shrugs. “He likes you. He probably thought we were a thing as well, so he took it out on me. Jealous that I got the girl.” His wiggles his brows, and I shake my head.
“Has anyone told you that you’re full of yourself?”
“You can be the first, if you want.”
I sigh and rest my head against the wall again. Closing my eyes, I try to imagine what tomorrow will look like. Roman is safe…he wants to just be friends. But do I just want to be friends? Do I truly want to only be friends with any of them after all this time?
I have feelings for each of them. I always have, but I can’t pick one over the others. I can’t lose any of them again. I want them all, and I know that’s being greedy and unrealistic.
“Do you think guys can be friends with girls without sex getting in the way? Or is it always doomed to fail?”
Asher’s deep chuckle has me opening my eyes and looking at him. He cocks his head to the side and gives me a warm smile. “Give me your hand.”
He holds his hand out, and I arch my brow at him. But I do as he says. He flips my palm facing down, and his hand cups the back of mine as he lowers it to his crotch. I don’t pull away as he pushes my palm into his cock, gasping when I feel how hard he is underneath his shorts.
“With you? It’s always doomed to fail.”
Fuck.
