My heart feels heavy as I make my way up. Will I ever be able to walk into this restaurant without thinking of Daniel? I said I wanted to end things between us, but will I ever be able to?
The entire place is silent and I stand by the doors, my eyes on the candles on the floor. They make a pathway to the rooftop terrace and I follow it cautiously, my heart pounding wildly. This… this is extremely romantic. I thought Daniel and I would just talk today. That we’d air out our grievances and get some closure so we can decide whether our relationship is worth saving. This… I don’t dare to continue my thoughts in the direction they’re going. But when I see Daniel standing in the middle of the terrace, wearing a tux and thousands of candles and roses decorating the place, my heart can’t help but hope.
He takes my hand when I reach him and looks at me nervously. His hand is trembling, and he tightens his grip on my hand in an attempt to hide it.
“I told you I’d tell you my side of the story today. Will you let me?” he asks, his voice soft and shaky. I bite down on my lip and nod. Daniel takes a step closer to me and brushes my hair out of my face.
“Where do I even start? I guess the story starts a couple of years ago. I came back to resume working for DM Consultancy after taking a break to do my MBA, in part because I owed your father so much, and in part because I wanted to fulfil my father’s wish of succeeding him. Both our dads always wanted the company to fall into our hands, and I wanted to honour that wish. The day I got back to work was also your first day at the office. You started your internship and well… you’d changed so much in the two years I hadn’t seen you. I was seriously awed. You were always beautiful, but seeing you then and there… Maybe it’s because I hadn’t seen you in so long, I saw you in a new light. But god, you were so beautiful. So beautiful, but so freaking young. So out of reach.”
He looks away nervously, and I stare at him in disbelief. Is he saying what I think he’s saying?
“You weren’t just beautiful. You were so smart and so hardworking. You wowed me every single day, and I lost a bit more of my heart to you every single day. But you were too young. You hadn’t even started university then. I knew there was so much of your life you still needed to live, and I didn’t want to take away any of those experiences from you. Besides, you didn’t see me that way at all. I tried so hard to forget about you. I tried to move on and deny my feelings, but it was all to no avail. You’d smile at me and I’d be lost all over again. I’d find excuses to see you all the time. When you were too busy to work from the office, I’d find a way to work late with your dad at his home office, just so I could have dinner with you.”
He glances at me briefly and then looks down again, as though his admission is embarrassing for him. He seems really worried about how I might respond.
“I’m ten years older than you, so I knew I’d probably never stand a chance, and I was fine with that. I never intended to act on my feelings, and I kept telling myself that one day I’d get over it. But then something happened… The way you looked at Dominic started to change. You were falling for him right before my eyes. You’d smile at him in a way you didn’t used to, and it tore me apart. Do you remember the night you got drunk and confessed your feelings for him? I overheard it all. You two were so drunk and I was about to check up on you when I heard you. God, Alyssa, my heart fucking broke. The idea of you becoming my little brother’s girlfriend, of you two being together. Fuck. I could barely cope with my jealousy every time you’d act chummy with him while you treated me with cold politeness. But seeing you in his arms? I don’t think I could’ve survived that. When I heard your confession… I knew I’d truly never stand a chance. I knew I needed to give up, and for a while I managed it. For a while I convinced myself I wasn’t in love with you. But then tragedy struck.”
He inhales deeply and brings our joint hands to his chest. His eyes are filled with insecurity and all I want to do is take it away. I feel stupid… It’s obvious to me now. The girl I’ve been so jealous of was me.
“You lost your dad and his will gave me a chance to be with you. I knew I could’ve contested it or I could’ve just bought you back your shares. He knew how I felt about you, and I guess this was his way of pushing us together. He’d told me to ask you out for dinner so many times, and I always refused. I was always scared of disturbing the status quo, and you’d never given me any indication that you even saw me as a man at all. I guess his will was his way of giving us his blessing. Even so, I never should’ve forcefully tied you to me the way I did. But I just wanted to be selfish. Just once, I wanted to call you mine. I knew it was a mistake when you walked down the aisle with Dominic. The way you two looked at each other… I felt fucking awful for breaking your heart. For taking away your chance at happiness. I knew right there and then that I couldn’t keep you tied to me.”
I grab our joint hands and press my lips against the back of his hand. I’m filled with intense regret. Would things have been different if I’d known then?
“The first couple of weeks of our marriage were rough on me. It was so obvious that you were in love with Dominic. It hurt to know you were my wife, and it wasn’t me you wanted. I knew I had to let you go someday. I was surprised when things slowly changed between us once we moved into the apartment. I could see the attraction in your eyes every time I walked around the house half-naked, and I guess I might’ve done it more often than I really should have. I just… I was just so excited to see you responding to me at all. But every time I thought we were getting somewhere, Dominic seemed to intervene. Every time I thought you might feel the same way, you’d show me it’s still him you put first. Over time, we fell in love, but I just wasn’t sure if any of it was real. I was certain you wouldn’t have been with me if not for your father’s will. It wouldn’t have been me you’d choose, and I couldn’t keep you tied to me when I knew I wasn’t your first choice. It broke me to do it, but I had to let you go. I was so convinced that all you felt for me was lust. I mean… I was your first, Lyss. You hadn’t had a chance to date and you didn’t even get to be with the person we both thought you loved. I figured you’d get over me quickly and things would return to how they were meant to be.”
Daniel hesitates and wipes away a tear from my cheek. I didn’t even realise I’d started crying.
“But things didn’t get better. You didn’t get over me. I thought you would’ve gotten with Dominic soon after I ended things with you, but you didn’t. I thought maybe you just needed some time… but then you showed up with fucking Liam Evans. I lost it. I couldn’t stomach the idea of you being with him, so I ruined your chance at moving on. I felt horrible about it afterwards, but I just couldn’t stand it.”
He runs a hand through his hair and looks away, his face distorted by pure devastation.
“I don’t understand,” I whisper. “If you knew… If you knew I couldn’t get over you, why did you still come to court to sign the papers?”
Daniel cups my cheek and looks at me sadly. “I didn’t ever want you to feel like you were forced into our marriage. I kind of figured that if you and I were meant to be, we’d come together naturally all over again. I wanted a chance to pursue you honestly, the right way. I wanted you to have a choice, and I wanted you to choose me.”
Daniel drops down on one knee and pulls a ring box out of his pocket. My eyes go wide and I slap my hands over my lips.
“I’ve loved you for years, Alyssa. I know I’ve made mistakes and I know I’m a fool sometimes. I don’t communicate my feelings very well and I’ve hurt you so many times needlessly, but I never meant to. I’ve always loved you and I’ve always wanted what’s best for you. Please, Alyssa. Let me make my wrongs right. I’ll spend each day of the rest of my life trying to make you happier than you were the day before. Please, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”
I burst into tears and nod. “Yes, Daniel. Yes. A thousand times yes.”
He slides the ring onto my finger and rises to wrap his arms around me. I kiss him and giggle against his lips. The two of us are so wrapped up in each other that I haven’t even had a chance to look at the ring. When I finally pull away to glance at it. I gasp.
“I — this… Daniel…”
He chuckles and kisses me again. “Hmm, it’s the ring you picked out in Singapore a year ago. I bought it the same day. I always hoped I’d be proposing to you someday… and if I did, I wanted you to have the ring of your dreams.”
Daniel drops his forehead against mine and smiles wickedly. “Hey babe, guess what? You owe me a new Aston Martin.”
I burst out laughing and kiss the shit out of my soon-to-be husband.
