The days drag, and the nights are too quick.
Every minute at school is a mix of torture and excitement – there’s something that makes me feel dirty about having a secret, and my relationship with Hayden is no different. We spend the daylight ignoring each other, except for stolen glances in the classroom and filthy texts during lunch, but at night, everything goes back to normal. At least, our normal.
I spend calculated minutes trying to observe him when no one is watching, studying his mannerisms, and falling for him because of the simple ways he moves. The way he picks his nails when he’s thinking, how he flicks the hair from his eyes when he’s reading and getting lost in his classwork, the silent laughs that pass between him and Levi when they whisper jokes to each other.
Everything about him draws me in – his smile, his walk, his posture – and every moment I spend as his teacher instead of his girlfriend makes me crazier for him. He’s addicting, down to his soul, and getting to know him from a distance as well as in the safety of our homes is making everything move faster. I’m learning more about him than I ever would in a normal relationship, because for the whole school day we’re different people sharing the same space, looking at each other’s lives from an outside view.
I’m antsy to see him by the end of second period on Friday, watching the door like a hawk searching for its next meal. When he finally swaggers through my classroom door, I feel a weight lift off my shoulders.
We share a silent smile, secrets written in our glances before he heads for his seat.
When he’s put his backpack on the back of his chair and sits down, he finds my gaze from across the room. I feel a burning need in my chest, something like butterflies on fire, and I want to rush over to him and feel his skin on mine.
I know he feels it too when his hand curls into a fist on his desk, and he smirks at me, silent words coming from his eyes that tell me he wants me.
When Levi walks in the room, his head turns and he greets his friend like normal – but I keep watching him, savoring the feel of him simply existing in the same space. The classroom has started to fill up, and like a fly on the wall, I watch as people interact with Hayden – pulling him into conversations or just clapping hands with him in greeting. It isn’t until Hayden’s gaze finds mine again, his face filled with annoyance, that I realize a blonde has curled her arm around the back of his chair while she talks to him quietly.
Heat spreads up my neck, filling me with bright green jealousy, and I have a hard time not standing up and laying my claim in front of everyone.
I’m not an idiot. I know what Hayden looks like, and I’m sure there’re lots of people who would like a chance with him, but it fucking pains me to know I can’t do anything to take him off the market publicly.
I’ve always been a territorial person. I’m not sure if it comes from my childhood, but when something is mine, I want the world to know they can’t fucking have it.
Sitting back in my chair, I watch the exchange unfold, half of me wondering how Hayden is going to act. Part of me thinks maybe he’ll be a fuckboy and give in to her.
The girl brushes her hair over her shoulder, laughing at something Hayden has said, even as his eyes stay on mine, and my brow raises, challenging him.
He grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief, then he turns to face the girl.
His head drops to the side a fraction, and he says something under his breath as he moves toward the girl. She pulls back as he moves forward, her eyes narrowing, and then she slides her arm from around him and stands up. Before she walks away, her voice cuts through the noise of the room.
“Fuck you, Hayden.”
He laughs, and Levi does too, then I grab my phone.
ME:
Have you fucked her?
I send the text, then look back at Hayden as the bell rings overhead.
He slides his phone from his pocket and reads the text, then laughs as he types a response.
My phone buzzes on my desk a second later.
HJM:
Yes.
I look at him, narrow my eyes, then my phone vibrates twice more in a row.
HJM:
But it’ll never happen again.
HJM:
You’re the only one I want.
My lips twitch, and I lick them to stop myself from smiling before I lock my phone and drop it into my purse. His eyes are on me when I look back up, and he blows me a kiss, sending fire rushing through my veins. Mrs. Justice steps up to the board before I have a chance to cool the flames inside of me, and starts her lesson, so I cross my legs and turn to face her, all the things I’m going to do to my man tonight running through my mind.
A storm rolls over Luxington in the afternoon, making the sky dark and the air chilly. The atmosphere feels fresh but heavy as I run out to my car, my jacket over my head like an umbrella to hide me from the downpour.
Gasping as I throw myself into the driver’s seat, I use my jacket to try to get some of the water from my arms and legs before I leave. Once I’ve started the engine, I call Hayden on the Bluetooth and pull out of my spot.
“Hey, beautiful,” he answers, his voice filling my car like my favorite song.
“We should do something tonight,” I suggest, pulling out onto the road. “This weather is making me feel some type of way.”
He chuckles. “What type of way?”
“Like it’s a good time for us to get out of the house, because most people stay indoors during a storm and it’s not likely anyone will see us.”
“You don’t wanna fuck in the rain? Because I thought that was a good idea,” he says, serious as a heart attack, and I laugh.
“Can you take a girl out on a date first?!”
He snorts. “Where are you? I’m pulling into your building.”
“I just left school, getting on the highway,” I answer, merging into traffic through the rain. “I’ll be there soon.”
“Well, think of what you want to do tonight. Something low-key.”
I grin. “I know. See you soon.”
The rain makes the drive longer, since no one seems to know how to operate their vehicles under a little bit of water, and by the time I’m pulling into the spot next to Hayden, I’ve figured out what we should do tonight.
He gets out of his car first, walking around my SUV and opening the door for me. His mouth finds mine before I take my seatbelt off, his hand sliding into my hair. When we pull apart, he smiles against my lips. “I’ve wanted to do that all day.”
“I wanted to do a lot more than that earlier.” I grin, unbuckling my seatbelt and grabbing my purse.
“Oh?” he muses, stepping back and holding my door open.
I hum between my lips, a flicker to my eyes. “What did you say to that girl?”
“What girl?” He closes my car door, and turns to face me, a smirk touching his lips.
“Don’t play dumb and sexy right now, H. You know what I’m talking about.” I roll my eyes.
He slides his hand into my hair and pulls my body against his. “I told her I wouldn’t fuck her if she was the last girl on earth, but I would have rather told her that someone else already fucking owns me.”
“I wanted to launch across the room and claw her eyes out,” I admit, looking up at him. “This sucks.”
He kisses me, angling my head to the side so he can deepen our connection as his tongue slides against mine. I almost drop the hold I have on my bag to grab onto him, but he pulls away before I do.
“One day, we’ll be able to shout it from the rooftops, baby.”
I nod, smiling at him as I slide my free hand into his and lead him inside.
When we’re locked inside my apartment, I kick off my shoes and drop my purse on the floor. He finds his home on my couch, patting the cushion next to him and wiggling his brows. “Come here and give me some attention.”
“Nope,” I say, walking past him to go into my room as I shout behind me. “We’re going on a date. Get ready!”
He runs after me. “What’re we doing?”
“Going to the movies.” I turn to face him as I peel my wet shirt over my head and toss it into the laundry basket. “Like a real couple.”
“Like a high school couple?” He lifts a brow.
“You are in high school,” I tease, turning to the closet to grab some dry clothes. Popping the button on my pants, I slide them down my legs and kick them off. Luckily, my panties and bra were safe from the rain, so with a t-shirt and a pair of jeans in hand, I turn to head for the bathroom.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Hayden says, grabbing me by the hips. “Give me a little show first.”
I snort, pushing his chest and moving him backwards across the room until the backs of his legs hit the bed. “Sit down.”
He sits, leaning back on his elbows to scan his gaze down my body. “God, you’re fucking sexy, Miss Leyton.”
Grinning, I wrap my arms around his neck before I climb onto his lap, my knees falling to either side of his thighs. He looks up at me, his teeth biting into his bottom lip as I roll my hips. My fingers press into the skin on the back of his neck, and he hisses. “We’ll never get out of the house if you do that, baby.”
I lean into his neck, licking down his throat as I grind my pelvis against him. “You’re the one who wanted a show.”
He moans between his lips, dropping his head back as his hands snake around my body and grab my bare ass. When he squeezes my flesh, I feel moisture pool between my thighs.
Rolling my hips once more, I pull from his neck and kiss his lips softly. “Now get ready to go.”
I stand before he has a chance to stop me, and he groans. “P.”
Grabbing my clothes, I run to the bathroom laughing. “Look up movie times!”
To my surprise, we manage to leave the house in time to make the next showing of some Romcom I’ve been wanting to see. Hayden puts his hood up, and I have a large pair of sunglasses on my face, even though the sun isn’t out, because we’re both afraid of someone recognizing us.
The movie theater isn’t as empty as I imagined it would be – maybe something so public for our first outing together was a mistake — but the smell of popcorn has me putting one foot in front of the other to keep going. I don’t dare hold his hand in the lobby, and we stand three feet apart at the concession stand as we get snacks, but once we’re inside the dark theater, I feel comfortable enough to lace my fingers through his.
We find seats a few rows from the top and make ourselves comfortable, passing popcorn and candy back and forth and stealing kisses between mouthfuls. The trailers play in front of us, but I can’t keep my eyes off of Hayden. This is the first real time we’ve been out together – as a couple after school started – and it feels fucking amazing.
I’m on a new high that I didn’t know existed after keeping our secret all week long, and I know he is too because he’s staring right back at me.
As the theater fills with people, and I sink down in my seat without realizing it, and Hayden’s hand squeezes my thigh. “It’s okay.”
I lean to the side, putting my chin on his shoulder to whisper to him. “I’m nervous.”
He runs his hand up and down my thigh to comfort me, then turns to look at me again. “Turn that anxiety into something else, P. Feel the risk and the thrill. Let it fucking consume you, because it’s consuming me, and I’m so fucking turned on I might explode.”
My gut flips, and I grin at him. “You’re crazy.”
“Crazy for you,” he says, kissing me. I pull back when I start to feel nervous again, and he puts a hand on my cheek. “It’s okay, I promise, baby. The movie will start soon, and you’ll feel better.”
I nod, turning to face the screen again as I blow out a breath.
He taps my knee. “I’m gonna pee before the movie starts. You okay?”
“Yeah,” I answer, watching as he stands up and brushes the popcorn crumbs off his lap.
He leans down and kisses me. “I’ll be right back.”
Nodding, I turn my knees to the side so he can pass in front of me, then I watch as he takes the stairs and heads out of the theater. My body fills with butterflies. I feel freed from the confines that hold us throughout the week, but there’s so much risk to tonight that I can’t help being anxious about getting caught.
My mind starts to come up with scenarios, and I mindlessly eat the popcorn in a panic. It isn’t until my fingers are touching the bottom of the bag that I snap back into reality. The lights have dimmed, the theater has filled about halfway, and the opening credits are starting. I look around for Hayden, hoping he makes it back in time for the beginning of the movie.
I feel a lot better now that the theater is pitch black and everyone around me is unrecognizable. Settling into my seat, I blow out a breath and get comfortable, letting myself relax. It feels as if I was freaking out for no reason now. Even though the risk is very real, the chance of someone seeing us is small.
Grabbing a box of gummy bears, I rip the cardboard edge and pull the packet out, opening and pouring some into my hand.
I’m mindlessly chewing and watching the movie, when I spot someone jogging up the stairs and heading for me, then Hayden is standing at my side and grabbing my hand. “We need to go.”
“What?” I whisper, looking up at him. “Why?”
He ducks down, sitting into the seat to my right, then points at the group of shadows finding seats at the front of the theater. My heart races. “What’s going on?”
“They go to Luxington,” he whispers, watching as the shadows all settle into seats. “We need to go.”
My throat turns thick, and nausea rolls through me as he grabs my hand and lifts from his seat, pulling me after him and sending my candy falling to the floor.
He keeps his hand in mine, holding me close to his back as he leads me through the darkness, then light washes over us as he pushes out into the hall. I shake his hand off, scared someone will be out here too, and he turns to face me. “Are you okay?”
“I feel like I’m going to throw up.” I laugh, putting my hand on my head. “Did anyone see us?”
“Why are you laughing?” he asks, falling against the wall as he puts his hands on his knees. “I’m having a heart attack.”
I laugh harder, wiping under my eyes with shaky hands. “I have no idea.”
A voice rings out in the distance, like someone’s going to come around the corner, and Hayden grabs my hand and starts running toward the exit, pulling me behind him.
He mimics my laughter as we race through the lobby and out the front doors into the rain. We run until we can’t anymore, ignoring the fact that we’re parked in the lot behind the theater, and then we both latch onto each other in the shadows under a tree.
“My heart is racing!” I yell through the noise of the rain, brushing my hair from my forehead. “Are you okay?”
He slams his lips to mine, threading his fingers into the wet strands at the sides of my head, and walks me backwards until I’m against the trunk of the tree. Rain pours down over us, thunder booming over our heads as we kiss and touch and breathe each other in.
His chest presses against mine, making my back rub against the tree, and I squeeze his waist. When he pulls back, we breathe against each other’s mouths, and he brushes the rain from my face. His mouth opens like he’s going to say something, but then he presses it closed and hesitation passes over his features.
“What is it?” I ask, feeling nervous.
“I think I love you,” he breathes, holding my face in his palms.
I smile, looking up into his dark eyes. Water hangs on his eyelashes, sprinkling over his face as he blinks, and I kiss him again.
He squeezes my face between his hands, and I pull back. “I think I might just love you too, H.”
A smile spreads across his face, and he kisses me once more softly before he pulls away. “I’ve never said that to anyone before.”
I brush the rain from his face. “I know, and I’m selfishly happy about that.”
