Two Months Later
Being with Hayden Monroe is like hanging over the edge of a cliff, waiting for someone to come along and shove you off, but then you realize there’s a trampoline at the bottom and you bounce back up for another go. He’s impulsive, exciting, and crazy. His world moves in fast forward – it’s one extreme or the next with him.
And the worst part is how much I fucking love it.
I love screaming at him, with him, into him. I love the risk that comes with being him. He’s my worst nightmare and favorite dream come to life.
I even love fighting with him – which we do a decent amount of. He’s possessive, and I can feel the parts of him underneath the surface that he warned me about. He’ll get too drunk, or too high, or too anxious, and it’s like another person is in the room with us. Someone I don’t recognize, someone selfish and scared. But at the end of the day, he’s back to being the Hayden I’ve fallen in love with.
He’s beautiful, carved from the darkest marble that shreds your skin when you touch it. He’s wild and unreadable on the outside, but tender and sweet under the privacy of my sheets. He’s everything you want to avoid in a relationship, but everything you’re looking for.
He’s smoke and fire and pain – and the Band-Aid you need to hold yourself together.
The last few months of my life have been a rollercoaster – a mess of fucking and fighting and freeing the parts of me that I buried long ago.
I thought I was smarter than this. I thought I was stable enough, strong enough, capable enough not to fall for him, but I fucking love him with my entire heart. He’s become my best friend, my soul and my family. I’ve shut everyone else out, apart from weekly visits to my parents, I don’t spend my time with anyone besides Hayden. It’s hard not to let our love consume me since it’s so big and wide, it covers every inch of my world. I accept his darkest parts and he accepts mine.
He’s the light at the end of the tunnel and the darkness that shuts me in.
We’ve kept our relationship a secret from everyone. I haven’t met his friends or family and he hasn’t met mine. And that’s the way we like it. It’s our dirty little secret.
He’s my peace and serenity in the hardest moments, and my biggest weakness and frustration in the best. We’ve managed to go out in public a few times without being seen, and those nights are the best. It’s the risk – it’s the chance that someone from school might see us, might walk up on us and figure out our secret. It’s the running around, the hiding in shadows with fear clawing at our insides when we’re ripping into each other.
It’s exhilarating.
We’re celebrating our second month together, since we decided to take the risk and be together, by going back to where it all began – Amethyst.
It’s Saturday night and I’m in my apartment alone, a short dress on my body, waiting for his instruction. He’s in charge, no matter how strongly my attitude and disobedience takes over, he’s always the one that’s in control at the end of the day, and I know him well enough to know he needs that. He needs me submissive, and willing to bend to his will, allowing him to hold the reins.
And I fucking hate how much I love it.
I love that he calls me his girl, that he owns my soul and body, that he has no qualms in grabbing my hair and taking what he wants from me.
Because I want to give it to him – whatever he wants.
He’s the king, and I’m his queen.
We fit together – our crazy matches. I’m possessive alongside him, the gasoline to his fire, the ink under his skin, the blood in his veins.
He is mine, and I am his.
Biting my nail, I flip my phone over in my hand for the tenth time – waiting. Waiting for Hayden to text me and tell me what our plan is for tonight.
Will we slither through the shadows like snakes, hiding from all eyes until we find our private place to be together? Or will we risk it, blending into the crowd to let excitement and fear pump straight into our bloodstreams?
When my phone buzzes, I stand up on my 4-inch heels and walk to the front door as I read the message.
HJM:
Meet me there, spitfire. Come and find me.
My core clenches, and my stomach fills with butterflies.
I grab my purse and keys, and practically run out the door, heading for my car.
Even though Amethyst is only a few minutes away, I don’t want to waste any more time by walking. I’m desperate to get to my man.
After a minute, I’m parking in a parallel spot on the side of Main behind Hayden’s Maserati and turning off the engine. Flashing my ID to the bouncer at the door, I give him a smile and head inside, my gaze searching the room for anyone I might recognize.
I shuffle through the crowd slowly, my senses on high alert for Hayden. I can feel him watching me, but I can’t see him. It turns my insides to liquid, and my chest starts rising and falling more rapidly as I move.
The club is full from wall to wall, making it feel hot and sticky. I do my best not to bump into anyone, but the ground isn’t even, and my heels are so high that I end up at least grazing every person I walk past. I’m muttering “I’m sorry” with every step until I reach the bar, and I can finally take a deep breath and relax.
Turning so my back is against the bar, I look out at the sea of people, searching.
Only a moment passes, then a hand is curling up the back of my dress and grabbing my ass. I swing my arm out, going on defense immediately, and Hayden’s laughter fills my ear.
“Relax, P,” he growls harshly, using his free hand to pin my arm at my side.
I release the breath I’m holding, turning my gaze up at him. His dark eyes are dilated as he stares down at me, and even in the dark atmosphere, I can see stubble lining his chiseled jaw.
“I thought I was supposed to come and find you,” I muse, my lips twisting into a playful grin. “Is someone desperate?”
He squeezes my ass hard, making me squeal, then licks my ear. “Always.”
A moan escapes from between my lips, loving the breathlessness of his voice. I grab his jaw in my hand, turning his head so he’s looking at me. “You wanna buy me a drink, handsome?”
The white tee he’s wearing hugs the shape of his chest, and tattoos climb up from under the hem to cover his neck. He turns, holding a finger up at the little blonde chick behind the bar to get her attention.
When she approaches us, he lets go of me and turns his body to face her, leaning into the bar.
“How are you, Hayden?”
I narrow my eyes at her, and he smiles. “Great. Two beers please?”
I know he’s hooked up with her before, because he told me so, and the image of them together makes me want to claw her eyes out.
I run my tongue over my teeth, watching the exchange between them, and a possessive envy rushes over me in heat waves. As the bartender steps away, I move closer to him, putting my mouth to his ear. “Keep being fucking friendly and see what I do.”
His chest shakes with a laugh, and his arm goes around my waist as he turns to look at me. “Keep being like that and I’ll really give you something to be jealous of.”
I grab his throat, then run my fingernails down the column, making him hiss. “Don’t ruin the night already.”
He snatches my hand and pulls it from his skin, leaning in to whisper his next words to me. “We’ve been here two minutes and you’re already being a jealous bitch,” His eyes find mine and anger curls around my spine. “You don’t fucking ruin the night already.”
I shake him off. “Fuck you.”
The bartender has placed our beers down on the bar, but she might as well be invisible. I start to walk away, and Hayden chases after me and pulls me back into him. “Is that what you need? You need me to fuck you until you’re done being a bitch?”
“Stop.” I grind out my words, gritting my jaw. “Fucking. Calling. Me. That.”
He smiles maliciously, leaning in to speak against my mouth. “Bitch.”
I use both hands to push his chest, and he moves about a foot back and stares at me. Chuckling, he rubs his jaw with his tattooed hand, then narrows his gaze at me. “Let’s go.”
I shake my head, stepping back. “I’m not going anywhere with you, dickhead.”
Laughing again, he rushes me, grabbing my wrist and pulling me behind him through the club. I grit my teeth so hard that they hurt, but don’t fight him. No one around us even notices we’re in the middle of a fight, nor do they see that he’s dragging me behind him like a child throwing a tantrum.
Hayden drags me all the way to the storage closet and pushes the door open. Then he’s flipping on the lights, and pulling me in behind him, slamming the door. My chest is heaving as we stare at each other, and before I can say what’s on my mind, he’s rushing me again, turning me around and pressing me against the door from behind.
My face meets the cold wood, and a smile pulls up my lips.
“Is this what my baby needs?” he groans, lifting my dress and ripping my panties off, tossing the shreds of lace to the ground. “She needs me to fuck her into being nice?”
“Fuck you,” I bite out, still smiling.
He kicks my legs apart, and I moan at what I know is coming. I hear him unbutton his pants and drop the zipper, then he’s sliding his cock through my heat and plunging inside me. I cry out, scraping my nails against the flat surface of the door as pleasure waves over my body from head to toe.
“Oh yeah,” he groans, wrapping a hand into my hair and pulling my head back. “So fucking wet. Just needed daddy to make you feel better, huh, Spitfire?”
I moan, meeting his thrusts with backwards ones of my own. “Hayden.”
He bucks against me, his dick stroking me from the inside as he kisses along the side of my throat. “Tell me how much you fucking love me, baby. How much you need me.”
I scream when his hand curls around my body and finds my clit. “I love you so much, H. All I need is you.”
Pounding into me from behind, he rubs my clit with his rough fingers. “Oh, fuck,” he groans against my skin. “That’s right. I fucking love you too, baby, even when you’re acting like a jealous bitch.”
I come then, slapping my hand against the door while my knees buckle and shake. “Fuck you!”
He bites my neck, and I feel his cock swell inside of me as my climax peaks, then he’s coming with me with a shout.
“Fuck, P,” he grunts. “You’re fucking squeezing me so tight, like your pussy never wants to let go of my dick.”
He trembles against my back, and yanks on my hair as he fucks me through his orgasm, then we both fall breathless, me against the door and him against my back. His cock starts to go soft inside me, and I curl my arm backwards so I can wrap a hand around his neck. My heart is racing, my blood rushing so fast that I can hear it in my ears, and my chest is heaving. Lifting off me, he steps back and turns me around quickly before he presses me against the door again.
He kisses me then, hard and fast, threading his tongue with mine. I meet his kiss with one just as greedy, smearing my lipstick against his mouth as my hands grab onto his waist. When he pulls back, we share a few breaths before he grins at me.
“You feel better?”
I blink up at him and study the shape of his pupils. “Are you high?”
He laughs. “I took a molly before you got here.”
I lick my lips, narrowing my eyes at him. “Why?”
A week ago, we decided we would both stop doing drugs. He’s into the thick of his senior year, and I’m in the first year of my career, and we need to focus. Plus, we were getting fucked up so much that time was starting to blur together. I was hopeful after the conversation, since Hayden was so quick to agree to going sober with me – he didn’t seem to mind at the time, but right now I’m thinking that he was just trying to placate me and tell me exactly what I wanted to hear.
I hate that deep in my gut I feel betrayed, almost like I’ve caught him in a lie.
“It’s a special occasion,” he says, cupping my face with his hand. “You want one?”
“No.” I sigh, shaking my head. “How do you plan on getting home if you’re rolling?”
He pulls back an inch and his brow goes up. “I’m fine to drive.”
I shake my head again, rolling my eyes in disbelief. A small, humorless laugh escapes my mouth, and he gives me a confused look.
“What’s the deal, P?” he snaps. “Are you my girlfriend, or my mom?”
I laugh again, straightening my dress. “You know what, I’m going home. Have a great night.”
When I grab the doorknob, he stops me from opening the door, pulling me into him. “You’re mad? Why?”
I brush my hair from my face and shake him off again. “If you can’t figure it out on your own, then you’re an idiot.”
Pulling the door open, I walk back out into the club and leave him standing in the storage closet by himself, hellbent on leaving this night behind and starting over tomorrow.
